


A Library Card Is a Privilege Not a Right

by meganbagels (Meganbagels)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Arguing, Awesome Jane Foster, Books, Darcy Feels, Darcy is not impressed, Drunkenness, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Just a whole lot of arguing, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Snark, Women Being Awesome, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:05:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meganbagels/pseuds/meganbagels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy should really demand a raise. Thor asks if she’d be willing to provide Loki with some reading material. It starts out as an opportunity to inflict the worst books she can find on him but eventually Loki’s imperious judgments on what defines “quality” storytelling craft start to become something she looks forward to. The world’s smallest, most antagonistic and unreasonable book club is just waiting to be born. If Darcy can somehow get Loki to be less of a dick in the process that would be great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pay Your Fines

**Author's Note:**

> This would never have happened without the encouragement and beta-ing of RunRabbitRun or PG.

It was the worst kind of day. The worst. The only of jeans clean enough to wear to work were also the ones that dug into her muffin top, her favorite bra still had coffee spilled on it from Tuesday, and she didn’t have enough time to do anything with her hair. She’d risked going to bed with wet hair and it was now a frizzy wreck. Fuck Thursdays.  
  
She threw on a hat and her comfiest hoodie. It’s not like Jane would care she looked like a slob today. No one would. Superheroes tended to have other priorities but still. Slobbing it around superheroes always felt like letting the side of normal humans down. She was still an adorable slob though. A slob with fancy lipstick. A slob that was going to be late for work. _Fuck this Thursday_.  
  
She rolled into work 20 minutes late but Jane was in a meeting so she had the office to herself. She didn’t have the energy to pick a playlist and just tuned the internet radio to her hometown radio station.  
  
She was putting together a list of components Jane was running low on so she could put in an order to SHIELD. She didn’t know what several of them were called but the tech agents got paid way more than her and presumably they could figure it out. Thor was hovering in the doorway just as she was belting and wiggling along to Selena while sorting through a nest of nameless cords.  
  
Darcy gave a start and nearly slipped off the chair “Jesus, make a little noise! How are you so quiet!?”  
  
“Apologies, Lady Darcy, I didn’t wish to interrupt” He nodded his head at the speakers still producing “Baila Esta Cumbia”.  
  
Darcy muted them “Well come in if you’re coming in. Unless you’re looking for Jane? She’s in a meeting. With….” Darcy consulted the incredibly scribbled on oversized calendar she’d insisted Jane keep so she’d finally stop forgetting appointments and conference dates, and you know, major holidays “Stackhouse? Either Stackhouse or Storkhorse. Can you read her handwriting?” She gestured him over to the all-knowing calendar and pointed.  
  
Thor shook his head “I confess I often find it difficult to understand although let us say Storkhorse. It’s much better” He said conspiratorially.  
  
“It really is. So did you come here to talk Storkhorses with me or is there something I can help you with?”  
  
“I have a request – a favor” Thor took the chair beside her work station and looked weirdly hesitant.  
  
“I’m gonna need a little more than that” Darcy prompted.  
  
“I expect you to say no and I will understand and accept it if you do. Loki is being held here, as you’ve been informed, but I’ve agreed to refrain from seeing him. SHIELD seems to believe our familial affection would make me susceptible to helping him escape.” Thor chuckled bleakly.  
  
Darcy gave him an apprehensive look “I can feel a no coming on, but what is it?”  
  
“He isn’t allowed anything but books and since I’ve agreed that I shall have no contact with him, I need to ask this favor of you. I know that what he’s done is unforgivable and I doubt he is remorseful even now, but he is my brother still and I’d rather his madness did not progress further. Would you, for me, bring Loki some books?” Thor looked like he was waiting for an explosion.  
  
Darcy just stared “You want me to bring him _presents_?”  
  
“I doubt he will appreciate them, but it’s all I can think to provide for him and none of the agents are willing to do this so I’ve had to ask this favor as a friend. You needn’t see him, the books can be dropped off with one of the agents.”  
  
“Is this going to make him less of a horrible asshole or in some way undo the many, _many_ atrocities he’s committed?” She grit her teeth, trying not to reach over and smack him.  
  
“No” Thor shook his head and looked out at the limited view of New York Darcy had from her window.  
  
“Then I’m not really seeing why I should say yes to keeping your brother entertained”  
  
“There is no reason truly, he certainly deserves nothing from you or anyone of Midgard” Thor smiled weakly at her.  
  
Darcy took in Thor’s hunched shoulders and dimmed expression “But you love him because family.”  
  
“I do” Thor said as if in apology.  
  
Darcy rolled her eyes, this Thursday could get fucked “Fine. I’ll do it. But he’s getting library books and if he destroys even one of them I’m never bringing him another one.”  
  
Thor looked elated and offended “I’d never expect you to pay! I had a card for credit made in your name so that you could purchase all the books you think he might want.” Thor pulled a silvery card from his wallet, both of which looked absurdly small in his hands.  
  
Darcy snapped up the card “Consider it the bribe price for me doing this, but he’s still getting library books. If he can be responsible then maybe he’ll get some books of his own.”  
  
Thor grinned “You’re testing him?”  
  
Darcy looked very pointedly at Thor “He’s gotta learn _some_ boundaries. I wouldn’t even trust him to keep a goldfish alive at this point but I’m definitely not wasting a bunch of new books on him. He can read some beat up books, it won’t kill him. Unfortunately. Oh, and I reserve the right to stop at any time for any reason.”  
  
“Understood” Thor gave a solemn nod.  
  
“We have a deal then.” Darcy stuck out her fist for Thor to bump, which he did without hesitation. He’d been much more keen on fist-bumping than the rest of the Avengers, bar Tony so far, but Bruce seemed ready to give in and just go with it.  
  
“I wish you luck and I thank you for doing this. As always, if there is anything I can do for you, I will.”  
  
She put a hand on his arm as he was standing to go “You’re a pretty great brother.”  
  
He tilted his head at her a little sadly “I- try.”  
  
Darcy had agreed to feed the mind of a demigod psychopath because his sweet creampuff of a brother asked her to. Maybe Thor was just as dangerous as Loki but for very different reasons. Well, if Thor and Jane ever took over the universe, hopefully they’d let Darcy be vice-Queen or something. For when they were on vacation or wanted to have a long weekend.  
  
Jane’s meeting would last until noon and fuck this Thursday already so why not go to the library now? Darcy was pretty sure if she didn’t go now, she wouldn’t go and then Thor would be sad which no one liked because it was like seeing a Golden Retriever mope, and then everyone else would get sad too. For superheroes and super SHIELD-agents, these people had the worst emotional coping skills.  
  
She zipped her hoodie and pulled up the hood as soon as she was outside. The wind was nipping but everyone else was just wearing short sleeves except for children and seniors and even they were just wearing light cardigans.  
  
Tony had assured her that they’d make a New Yorker out of her eventually but she’d break the fingers of anyone who tried to tell her she didn’t need a hoodie for this weather. It was late August and Fall had officially started already, wearing a hoodie was reasonable. She walked quickly, dodging stroller after stroller, apparently Manhattan was prime parenting territory on 10am on Thursdays. Or maybe every day? She didn’t really get out that much. New York was loud and expensive in ways that made Netflix seem way more appealing. Although she’d say this for New York, the variety of take-out was astounding. In New Mexico, take-out had meant pizza or maybe Chinese if you were lucky. Here they’d bring you snails and caviar on a hoagie if you were willing to pay for it.  
  
It was barely warmer in the library than it was outside. Maybe government buildings had rules about the temperature. Or maybe Coulson’s logic of “put on a sweater” had fans at the Mid-Manhattan Library. To be fair, he’d allowed her to bring in a space heater even though it was a safety hazard. It wasn’t much, but at least she could almost always feel her fingers in the winter. Everyone else was from the frigid North apparently and didn’t care how cold it was.  
  
Darcy breathed in that strange smell that all public buildings have, mixed with books. Maybe New York wasn't so bad, definitely they knew how to do libraries. She had to stop herself from heading for the Recommendations book display. A library card, get that and then the books.  
  
The librarian pointed her to one of the computers and told her which link to click and just to write down the code at the end. Name. Birthdate. Level of education? Four year college. So what if she hadn’t filed the paperwork for the degree yet? The credits were all finished so it was pretty much a done deal. Permanent address...She’d texted her address to herself so she could look it up easily. Darcy knew the way to her apartment but had no clue how to tell other people where she lived other than by nearby laundromats and restaurants. She clicked submit and brought over the number she’d scratched down along with the requisite ID. No real library card for a few days but at least she could still check out books and DVDs and stuff.

Darcy Lewis was getting her very own New York Public Library card! Finally, something that didn't cost any goddamn money. She knew her colleagues would have probably helped her, Tony had courtesy memberships to everything in the city, and Pepper would have found someone to help her navigate the burroughs but God, asking for help from people with really important shit to do just felt really stupid. On top of that she barely knew any of them except for Thor. Bruce sometimes talked to her about Poli-sci stuff and Pepper was nice but mostly Darcy worked with the science people who were usually a little too overworked and a little too underfunded. Weapons development got all the real money, natch. Also Darcy was 28 years old, she could handle her own finances like a grownup, probably? Her parents would have given her those withering looks and said "Not asking for help doesn't make you tough, it makes you an idiot.”  
  
Darcy glanced over the bestsellers trying to think what Loki might want to read before getting mad at herself. She was doing a favor for a killer so who cared if the books were his favorite or not? It’s not like he was even going to care what she brought. She went to the stacks and grabbed the first series she thought would be long enough to at least keep him occupied, if not necessarily pleased, for awhile.

Darcy brought the books back in a plastic grocery bag a librarian had helpfully supplied. The book corners kept bouncing against her leg and poking until she finally just shoved them as far into her bag as they would go, which wasn’t very far and made carrying her bag difficult.

It was only a little past eleven when she got back and the canteen would be probably be getting ready to throw out some of the bagels and muffins, which meant Darcy could raid the leftovers for anything she could take home. She was not above yoinking anything that no one seemed to want, she had gone through all of college taking notes with the free pens every service on campus gave out.  
  
She decided to unload her haul first and then see what was left behind from breakfast. Loki’s handlers were on Floor 8, although who knew where Loki was really being kept. There was one lone guy at what looked kind of like an attempt at a receptionist desk. He shoved his hair out of his eyes enough to look up from some match-three game sheepishly.  
  
“Hi, um, these are for Lok – er, the prisoner? I don’t know if you guys do some kind of drop off and pick up thing but I do need these back in two weeks.”  
  
He blinked “Yeah, I’m sure they’ll figure it out. If he does um, destroy them, are you financially responsible? Because I would definitely check on that.”  
  
“His brother will handle it. We’re trying something. It’s treatment, sort of a rehabilitation thing.”  
  
He gave her a slightly pitying look “Do you want us to say who dropped these off or would you like to leave a note…?”  
  
“NO! No, I’m just the messenger. God no.”  
  
“Okay, well, they’ll be dropped off in a few hours but I’ll just hang onto them until then. Is he much of a fan of,” he looked at the spines “Dan Brown?”  
  
She just grinned and headed for the double doors “Probably not.”  
  
Darcy got back to her station with a wealth of baked goods to stuff into her bag, but she left the biggest bagel on Jane’s desk because she probably hadn’t eaten anything and would be way too lazy to go get something. Going miles out into the middle of the desert for science was fine. A walk to the canteen was just too far.  
  
Jane came in looking a little intense. “Bad meeting?” Darcy tested  
  
Jane just sighed, “The usual man explaining science to a woman that knows about a million times more than he does.”  
  
“Do we need to slash his tires?” Darcy offered.  
  
“I think we’re good. I explained to him why he needed to shut up and let me finish.”  
  
“Wow. How was everyone after that?”  
  
“Quiet. And terrified. I told him to get in the trash where sexist garbage belongs” Jane said matter-of-factly.  
  
“That’s pretty good! Did you plan that?”  
  
“No, it just came to me” Jane looked glowy and proud.  
  
“Tomorrow I’m bringing you actual liquid breakfast. The giantest smoothie you could want. Anywhere in a five block radius, your choice.”  
  
“Oh god, Chai Pistachio from the place with the blue door!”  
  
“Done. And seriously, good job handing him his ass.”  
  
Jane gave her possibly the most enthusiastic fist bump she’d gotten all week.  
  
“Thank you for the bagel. And you should know, Thor told me about the book thing, thank you for that too. He’s been thinking about it for a few weeks and I know it means a lot to him.”  
  
“Well, no promises on keeping it up. I brought him Dan Brown stuff so I’m pretty sure it’s not going to go well.”  
  
“Are those...bad? I don’t know what Dan Brown writes.” Ah yes, dealing with people who spent large amounts of time not engaging in culture, pop or otherwise.  
  
“I read part of it and gave up, it’s pretty bad.”  
  
“So you’re torturing him with books?” Jane took an enormous bite out of her bagel.  
  
“Basically. But if he can be a grown up about it, I’ll bring him something better” Darcy unwrapped one of the stale scones.  
  
“How long does he have to read them?”  
  
“Two weeks.”  
  
“Who knows, maybe he won’t even bother reading them. Maybe he just isn’t interested in human things” Jane shrugged, slowly sinking back into her work in between bites.  
  
“Well, fingers crossed” Darcy muttered into her scone.


	2. Circulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's book reviews begin. Darcy deals with the weirdness of her role, and the fact that everyone else isn't nearly as bothered about it as she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would never have happened without RunRabbitRun's encouragement and betaing or PG's enthusiastic support!

On Monday there was an email for Darcy telling her to come to Floor 8. Thankfully it was just an agent at the sad reception desk. She looked a little more focused than the previous one and gestured at the neatly stacked books.  
  
“These were delivered for you.”  
  
Darcy poked at them suspiciously, “Um, when did he finish these?”  
  
She sat down and scrolled on her screen, looking intently, “I’m not certain, but they were in a stack waiting to be removed by Saturday.”  
  
Darcy plucked a note sticking out of the dust jacket. In weird angular letters it read:  
  
“Did you think I would find this beneath me? I am at the mercy of mere humans, there is nothing beneath me now. The craft of this was indeed poor but you should know, I have listened to Thor’s odes. I could read a thousand books such as these and still find them more bearable than even a minute of his clumsy words. ”

Her lip curled. That asshole had sent her a note with the Asgardian equivalent of “B R I N G  I T” written on it. Darcy was absolutely not going to just give up because he didn’t hate Dan Brown, there had to be _something_ he’d hate. After all, there were plenty of terrible books out there. Still, it meant taking the time to haul these books back and get more. Maybe she should have gone the Amazon route. Ugh, she’d do it on the way home and then just get a book tote or something.  
  
“You don’t still have the grocery bag here, do you? I left it with the books,” She asked, sticking the note back where it came from.  
  
“Sorry, yes, Dan left it up here.” She reached into a filing cabinet and pulled out a white plastic wad, holding it open for Darcy, “We’ll be here if you have other deliveries to make. It’s usually Dan or me at the desk. I’m Yasamin,” she offered an assured hand that Darcy shook.  
  
“Cool, thank you. I’m Darcy. I’m not sure how long this book thing is going to go on, but thanks for not being super weird about it. Even though, yeah, it’s completely weird.”  
  
Yasamin nodded, “We do what we can. I mean, it’s all weird here, but we do what we can.” They just stood and nodded together in a moment of shared commiseration about what working here meant for your definition of weirdness.  
  
“I’ll probably see you tomorrow. Hope it’s a quiet day for you.”  
  
She gave Darcy a surprised and grateful look, “Thanks, you too.”  
  
Darcy spent the rest of the day helping with the next budget proposal for phase whatever of the project Jane was working on, which made her wish she was dead, but she was the only one who could bridge the communication gap between the science people and the budget people. Well, Liv could too, but she was on maternity so Darcy was on her own. She finally got a rough draft done a little after five and headed home.  
  
The stupid books felt so heavy after a long day. She was definitely going to get a backpack or book bag or start using a cab on Thor’s SHIELD issued credit card. Besides what were they going to do about the cost? Dispute charges with _Thor_?

The library was a little bustle-y but she knew what she was getting him next so it was more of a search and retrieve kind of mission. She used the self-checkout because there was no way she was going to make small talk about her choices. The complete works of Nicholas Sparks for Loki and _Dissident Gardens_ for herself. Thankfully she only had five stops on the subway because hauling books was a pain in the ass. Thor owed her so big for this.  
  
She dropped off the books on Tuesday afternoon and got called back to pick them up on Thursday just as she was getting her stuff ready to leave. What. The. Fuck. How many books could this shitbag plow through? Should she just hire a moving van and fill it with books? Clearly Loki needed some kind of e-reader but you know what? No, he needed to learn patience and some goddamn gratitude. She’d pick up the books and wait a few days before bringing the next ones in.  
  
Dan was waiting at the desk with his bag on his shoulder. “You made it! I was just getting ready to go. If you need, I can give you a ride to the library. It’s just a Vespa but it’s better than carrying all of these on foot. Unless you’ve got it handled? Also, this was in them,” he handed her a tiny folded note which she just shoved in her pocket without looking.  
  
Darcy nearly hugged him, “Thank you, I’ll read it later, or maybe burn it. A ride would be amazing! I’ve got a backpack for them but it still weighs a ton.”  
  
Dan ducked his head a little shyly, “Sure, we have to go down to the garage but we can get them there, I think we can get them to the library.”  
  
He pretty carefully didn’t bring up Loki or the whole reason for the books or work at all. He just asked Darcy how she liked New York and if it was like she thought it would be. She asked him about being born and raised in New York and how the hell anyone could figure out which direction anything was without a compass. He gave her his helmet to wear, which admittedly was sweaty and smelled a little ripe, but she squished her head into it because hey, better gross than dead  
  
He navigated with a smoothness that made Darcy jealous, but maybe he could teach her. She’d always wanted a scooter, but here it seemed like asking for trouble. They got to the library in record time and with way less sweating and irritation than Darcy was used to. Vespa was the only way to travel. Terrifying, but god, so much better than carrying stuff.  
  
Dan helped her get the books inside and looked a little twitchy, like he was on the verge of saying something.  
  
“It’s fine, you can say it,” Darcy braced herself.  
  
“Thank you for doing this,” he said softly.  
  
“Wow, I thought you were going to tell me I was crazy for doing this.”  
  
“It’s not normal but none of this is and I think it sort of helps him.”  
  
“I don’t want to help him!” She half yelled before getting an ugly look from someone at the reference desk.  
  
Dan just smiled ruefully. “Yeah, I know, I don’t want to either. He’s definitely a monster, but I guess he’s our monster now, you know? If we’d wanted him dead, we have that option and it hasn’t happened so I guess he belongs to us now.”  
  
“The world’s shittiest pet,” Darcy spat.    
  
“That’s not far off.”

“You know, keeping monsters as pets is a bad idea. My mom used to read me a book about it when I was little.”  
  
Dan fiddled with his helmet for an awkward minute before blurting, “This is a stupid idea, but would you be willing to try giving him something good – something we would think of as good?”  
  
“I’ll think about it,” Darcy gave herself a mental back pat for not immediately yelling “hell no!”  
  
“I know this is damning with faint praise, but I’ve dealt with worse than him.”  
  
“The faintest of praise.”  
  
Dan just laughed, “Work is horrible for your frame of reference.”  
  
Darcy smiled in return. “The worst! Thanks for the lift and helping me lug these guys back.”  
  
“Not a problem. See you tomorrow,” Darcy watched him pin his hair out of his eyes with bobby pins and then put on his helmet. Handy to know who had hair supplies around the office.  
  
She headed up to the stacks and wandered. Humor barely translated across cultures, maybe save that for later. What did you recommend to a histrionic madman/alien/“god”/megalomaniac? Darcy rolled her eyes, duh, Russian novels. Good books, some of the greatest, but plenty of, well, familiar emotions for a being like Loki to at least connect with. Also some books to let him know that he still being tested as far as this book-dealer was concerned  
  
She brought the books to the librarian who stared down at the books and then slowly looked at Darcy as though this might be some kind of trick. Darcy tried to look extra earnest about this whole thing. The librarian slowly scanned the books and handed them over. Darcy stuffed them into her backpack and made for the subway.  
  
The ride home was mercifully uneventful and the bodega next to her building had a special on Corona. Not like Corona was great or anything, but it reminded her of long summer days in her college dorm watching The West Wing with her other Poli-Sci friends and weeping every time someone made a speech. The floor had been covered in tissues. She got a six pack and trudged up the three flights of stairs before dumping everything on the “dining” table which had become the “eh, fuck it” table.  
  
She pulled her hair back, got into pajama pants, and opened a beer before settling down to watch a few episodes of Scandal before figuring out dinner. Not a replacement for The West Wing but an acceptable methadone for the chronically political. During a lull Darcy remembered the note from Loki and went to fish in her jeans for it.

The note just said “Why?”  
  
She wrote on the back of it, “Take a guess, douchecanoe,” before reconsidering. Maybe the insult wouldn’t translate? Nah, Dan or Yasamin would probably be able to explain. Certainly Loki would be bright enough to intuit that Darcy wasn’t calling him anything flattering, which was probably good enough.  
  
She didn’t bring the books in on Friday and felt vaguely guilty when she dropped them and the note off on Monday with Yasamin, who snorted her tea when she read it. She got called back on Tuesday afternoon for the Twilight series. The note was longer this time:  
  
“Twilight: You try to make monsters decent and in doing so you destroy everything that is worthy of interest or attention. Redeeming monsters is the task of fairytales and children’s stories. The writing style is also lamentable but your kind have such short lives in which to master the art, it’s not surprising that this is the sort of work you patch together. Still, less lamentably scattered than the other collections you’ve subjected me to. As for your note, a charming insult but I refuse to speculate on why you subjected me to that stream of drivel. I hope that ‘War and Peace’ is better although I’m skeptical that anything requires so many pages to be said.”  
  
Darcy was taken aback. She’d expected him to hate it, to foam at the mouth, but he seemed barely bothered. Apparently what Asgard considered schlocky literature wasn’t something they held in common with Earth. Nice dig at humans, of course. Right out of the “How to Be a Giant Alien Asshole Handbook”. Maybe human greatness would move him. She crumpled the note and took the books.  
  
Yasamin told her to come first thing on Wednesday. Tucked into the very final page of the book Loki had left his usual ‘review’.  
  
“War and Peace: Enjoyable but for the interminable battlefield strategizing and the opining on the ‘sorrows’ of war. Peace is an illusion, of course, but this at least makes it an appealing one. Has this Tolstoy written other work? If so I would like to read them. My jailer urges me to ask more politely but I think all of us are keenly aware of how unlikely that is, aren’t we?”  
  
Darcy looked up from the note to Yasamin who grimaced, “Dan tried.”  
  
“Well, he didn’t shred anything in protest so that’s something.”  
  
“He’s normally less of an ass than that.”  
  
“Is he though? Is he really? Am I the only one that remembers the Battle of New York!?” Darcy felt her voice going tight with rage.  
  
Yasamin shook her head, “No, it’s not that, it’s that, I guess here at SHIELD we have to think of him differently. Think of him as a tool. “  
  
“Oh, I do. A giant, stupid, murderous tool,” Darcy seethed.   
  
The corner of Yasamin’s mouth twitched, “He is that. But he’s also useful. If we kill him, then we’re left with a dead murderer. If we can use him then hopefully the next monster than comes along won’t be able to cause nearly the death and destruction.”  
  
“That’s a big and dangerous If.”  
  
“I know. It’s not one SHIELD takes lightly but he’s done us some good already. His work is classified for the protection of everyone involved, and I would be willing to bet that he doesn’t relish being carted out like the tool he is, but he has cooperated.”  
  
“At the risk of pointing out the obvious, he could just be playing along for his own reasons.”  
  
Yasamin tilted her head in acknowledgement, “I know, but to be honest we can’t measure intent, only actions. It’s a very imperfect system, but the nature of all such military work tends towards deals with the devil. There was a time when working with the Winter Soldier would have been unthinkable. Even the Black Widow, as strange as that seems now.”  
  
“They didn’t cause the kind of destruction that he did!”  
  
“Because they couldn’t. We can’t know what they would have done with his powers. And frankly, the level of his powers are precisely why SHIELD wants to build some sort of cooperation with him.”  
  
Darcy came closer to the desk, knowing she was pushing it, “So enough power gets you special treatment, huh?”  
  
“Enough power always gets you special treatment, I doubt SHIELD is unique in that, but I wouldn’t worry about it. They take the “great responsibility” part of that saying very seriously,” Yasamin replied evenly.  
  
Darcy felt some of the fight leave her. “They’d better. And I don’t want to presume, but you and Dan aren’t developing like, Lima Syndrome or something, are you?”  
  
Yasamin snorted, “Oh god, hardly! No, he’s a complete arse and we sometimes want to kick in his head more than we want to look after him but of course he’s not the worst. Comparison makes him seem pretty bearable.”  
  
“Jeez, what do you guys have hiding in those sub-basements?”  
  
Yasamin’s lips thinned suddenly. “Nothing that Loki couldn’t eliminate if he was so inclined. And it’s okay by the way, no one, not even _he_ is comfortable with this arrangement. If I can answer your questions I will.” Her smile was apologetic.  
  
Darcy felt her face tic in frustration. “Thanks, just let me know about the other book. I’ll probably have more tomorrow,” and walked quickly to the elevator. She almost ran to Jane’s lab.  
  
As soon as Jane looked up, Darcy blurted, “Did you know that they’re using Loki on assignment?”  
  
Jane furrowed her brow and made a note. “No, but I’d started wondering. Some of the static we’ve been picking up has him written all over it. His signature is pretty distinctive.”  
  
“And this doesn’t, you know, _bother_ you?” Darcy felt her face tic again.  
  
Jane chewed her tongue in thought and finally said, “It bothers me a lot, but what’s the alternative? Execution, which Thor would never allow or life imprisonment which is useless to us and a waste of time. He’ll live for a few thousand more years and presuming humans are still around, can you imagine having to have your great-times-30 grandchildren looking after him in his cell?”  
  
“What the hell? Am I the only one that remembers what he’s done!?” Darcy shouted  
  
Jane got up to close the door to the lab. “I’m not saying we should welcome him in, but he’s not being punished, he’s just being held and how many generations can we maintain that?”  
  
Darcy narrowed her eyes, “This had better not just be about how much help he could be with your work because I will throw a computer through the window if it is.”  
  
“I don’t think Loki’s the answer but he knows things about the kind of work I’m doing that no one else even begins to understand. Even Thor can’t make sense of half the findings I’ve got, but I’d bet Loki can. If Loki can help, the possibilities are nearly limitless.”  
  
Darcy looked pointedly at the computer, “Do not test me on this, I will throw it through the window and into the hall and Fury will kill us both.”  
  
Jane sighed, “I can’t forgive him and I’m not going to, but he is the equivalent of nuclear power. We don’t have to use him to make bombs, we can use him to change the world.”  
  
“Yeah, but _will_ he?” Darcy grunted, leaning angrily against one of the lab tables.  
  
Jane came over and wrapped Darcy in a hug. “I’m sorry. I still want to let him rot sometimes and he saved my life.”  
  
Darcy groaned into Jane’s ponytail, “I’m worried that I don’t hate him as much as he deserves though, you know? Like I don’t really want him dead, but I also think maybe I should want him dead?” She could feel Jane laughing against her.  
  
“I’m pretty certain everyone feels that way. Even Thor. Maybe even the other Avengers.”  
  
“I _hate_ him.”  
  
“Yeah, he’s pretty hateable.”  
  
Darcy mumbled, “And I sort of like him?”  
  
“Yeah, he’s pretty likable,” Jane said, squeezing Darcy before letting her out of the hug.  
  
“Stupid bastard.”  
  
“Definitely. Do you want to go take a break and get something to eat? We can go by the library if you want,” Darcy glared “Only because it’s near the Indonesian place I want to try, I still can’t get over the fact that I can get food more specific than ‘Asian’,” Darcy continued to glare “We don’t have to go to the library. It’s just that I’m going to be in meetings all day tomorrow and I want to stretch my legs while I can…” Jane gave her a pleading look.  
  
Darcy pursed her lips. “Fine. But only because I love you and I want to make sure you see the real world every now and then.”  
  
Jane grabbed her coat. “This is kind of exciting! I haven’t been to a library in years. All my work from sophomore year on was done almost exclusively in the labs or through contacting researchers for their data.”  
  
“Well, get ready for a treat then. This is a real library, kids’ corner with storytime and everything,” Darcy said, zipping up her hoodie.  
  
After getting stuffed with her at lunch, Jane peeled off almost immediately once they hit the library and was lost from sight. Darcy made for the online catalog, she was on his trail now. There’d been plenty of stick, now for some carrot. She made sure to get every Russian great the library had on the shelves. _Anna Karenina_ , _Fathers and Sons_ , _The Brothers Karamazov_ , _Crime and Punishment_ , _The Master and Margarita_ , and _The Cherry Orchard_  just for good measure. She was going to fill him so full of carrot that if she had to use stick, he would finally see what he was missing. Not that it would necessarily work but she had a good feeling about it.  
  
She immediately regretted her choices once she had to carry them back, but Jane helped shoulder the burden. She dropped them off with Yasamin before going back to her work station to find Thor slowly spinning in an office chair and talking to Jane.  
  
“Hey there Hercules. Do you guys need alone time because I will gladly take an early day. Anything for the team, you know,” Darcy gave Jane an exaggerated wink.    
  
Thor spun to face her. “I came to ask after your efforts with Loki as well as to see my Lady Jane. I hope he’s been…bearable.”  
  
Darcy sat in her roll-y work chair and joined Thor in doing quarter-rotations. “It’s fine, I’m not sure it’s a success, but all the books have come back intact and he hasn’t tried to track me down that I know of, so it seems like we’re doing okay.”  
  
Thor clapped his hands together, “That’s excellent news! Does he speak to you at all?”  
  
“I don’t ever see him. He’s written some notes, if you want to read them?” Darcy offered.  
  
“Loki has ever been private and I will respect that as I can. Unless there is something that you feel I should see, I will leave them to you.”   
  
Darcy shrugged, “Nothing exciting, just his opinions on what he’s read.”  
  
Thor nodded, “With Loki, that is a victory indeed.”  
  
“Well, we’ll see if he learns anything from it”  
  
Thor looked thoughtful. “If my brother asked to meet you, would you accept his invitation?” From the corner of her eye, Darcy saw Jane pop up from her desk like a meerkat, looking intently at Thor.  
  
Darcy raised an eyebrow, “That sounds like the worst idea ever.”  
  
Thor accepted her reply easily, “You may be right,”  
  
Jane piped up, “Darcy, I’m going to walk Thor back to the tower, I’ll be back in a second.”  
  
“Yeah, _sure_ you will. See you tomorrow!” Darcy said, waving them out of the lab.  
  
Jane totally missed Darcy’s crude finger-in-hole gesture because she was already deep in conversation with Thor while they were waiting for the elevator. Darcy turned back to her computer and opened a document and titled it “Reading List for Spacedick.” She had some planning to do.


	3. Manuscripts and Archives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy dragged herself to Floor Eight and growled, “Take me to him .” 
> 
> Yasamin looked a little startled but motioned for Darcy to follow her. “Right this way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't have done this without RunRabbitRun or PG. They are the guiding lights in this process and I cannot say enough good things about them. Also, RunRabbitRun writes beautiful things you should go read immediately!
> 
> All commenters, kudos givers, and suggestion givers are treasured, loved, and adored. Thank you! Feel free to come rattle my inbox on Tumblr! I'm there as meganbagels also.

It was a whole week before Darcy got the email alerting her that the books were ready. The customary note was folded neatly on top.

Week Three of Loki’s Reviews: 

“These are easily the best books yet, faint praise though that is.

Anna Karenina: Enjoyable. The style in particular had some craft to it. It seems ‘Russia’ is a place with nothing but social strife and yet somehow my rule over all of you was too much to ask. Of course, much better to live in this endless search for illusory meaning and reason! Levin’s turn for “salvation” was excellent, I laughed for several minutes. 

Fathers and Sons: “Nihilism” is both the most delightful and the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. Chaos cannot be made into order through force of will and even if it could, no will is strong enough to keep it there. And the ending was a disappointment. The deathbed change of heart is a tired trick. 

The Brothers Karamazov: Indifferent. Although the theme of father murdering holds a certain sentimental appeal, I admit. 

The Cherry Orchard: The drama of it is decent. I can grasp the value of land but your laws and approach to currency are incomprehensible.

Crime and Punishment: I suppose this is your idea of a joke? Weak. The failure of a single man to overcome his own flimsy morals is hardly proof that it can’t or shouldn’t be done. After all, Raskolnikov is only human (and isn’t that a tidy little summation?) The novel would have been better served by focusing on a character who spends less of his time being a pathetic fool plagued by regrets for what cannot be undone. Svidrigaïlov was excellent though. 

The Master and Margarita: Now this is wickedly fun. I’ve never been particularly fond of cats but I may have to revise my opinion on them. I am unfamiliar with the stories of Yeshua and Pontius Pilate but it hardly matters. The only book you’ve brought me thus far that’s been worth reading a second time.” 

Darcy smirked, of course he didn’t like cats, being standoffish and intermittently deadly was his thing. He seemed to be paying attention now that he had something worth paying attention to. She had him on the line and now to reel him in bit by bit. If Loki was going to be used by SHIELD then he damn well needed to have some stake in what he was being made to do. 

Yasamin smiled “Progress?”

Darcy did the uncertainty waggle with her hand. “I don’t want to jinx it, but I’m really hoping so. Even if he were slightly more willing to think of humans as non-disposable, I’d be happy”

“You don’t set yourself easy tasks, do you?” Yasamin said sympathetically, helping Darcy get the books into her backpack. 

Darcy shook her head. “So far I’m just the bookwench. I’m letting Tolstoy do all the heavy lifting on making the case for humans.” 

The corner of Yasamin’s mouth twitched like something was funny but Dan came in carrying two mugs of coffee very carefully before Yasamin could reply. She reached to get hers so Dan could stop trying to watch both mugs simultaneously. 

Darcy looked around nervously. “Are you both allowed to be here at the same time? Who’s watching him?”

Dan chuckled, “We don’t guard him, he’s got full time surveillance and people with big guns watching him, and I don’t think we’d be much of an asset there. We do the rest of the stuff.” 

Yasamin jumped in, “Maybe case officers is the best description of what we do. Everything that isn’t about keeping a weapon pointed at him is our job to oversee and plan.”

“This is going to come out like a really dick thing to say, but aren’t you both young to have that kind of responsibility for a psychotic supervillain?”

Dan tilted his head in consideration. “We’re 31 and 33.”

“34,” Yasamin corrected. 

“You don’t look a day over 33,” Dan said automatically

Yasamin rolled her eyes. “Age is less of an issue than our experience. Without revealing anything classified, we’ve both been groomed from an early age for this sort of work.”

“Not in a creepy way, I hope…” Darcy said cautiously.

Dan and Yasamin looked at each other before Dan said, “I think it was exactly as creepy as you’d expect it be and thankfully not more creepy than that.” 

Darcy nodded, “Around here, that’s probably the best we can hope for.” 

Yasamin laughed, “Probably so.”

Darcy was shouldering her bag when Dan added, “We can get the library to deliver and collect the books for you, if you want. You can still choose what’s delivered but they’ll deal with the rest. We weren’t sure if it would be necessary because, well, I don’t think any of us thought Loki could behave this long but we can set that up if it helps?” 

Darcy paused at the doors. “I’ll think about it.” 

She pushed through and got on the elevator which was thankfully standing open. She’d think about it? What the hell was there to think about? That was obviously a way better deal than being a book mule in exchange for what amounted to perks. Granted, she hadn’t had to pay cab fare in several weeks and Thor’s card had been used to buy quite a large stack of cookbooks that were totally going to make her stop eating takeout . Still, it wasn’t really enough to justify the time she was putting into it. Fine, the New York Public Library could do all the heavy lifting. She wouldn’t miss it. Well, she might miss the book smell but she could go to the library without the pretense of getting Loki reading material. 

Although it was nice to have someplace interesting to go that was actually quiet and with a lower incidence of being catcalled or just otherwise bothered. Damn New York and their stupid anti-Taser laws. She’d need to get that changed because this whole walking alone thing was terrifying. Darcy hadn’t campaigned to get a law changed in a few years, but it was probably a lot like riding a bike. So maybe she’d keep going to the library for just a little while longer. 

She wandered back into the lab and plopped down at her work station. She had several projects she was meant to be working on but she found herself looking at the library website every time she hit a lull. What did you follow up Russian literature with? 

Jane saw her come in the next day and thunk her backpack down next to her computer. 

She looked accusingly at the backpack. “I hope you got a cab.” 

“I did. I couldn’t face the idea of carrying anything heavier than a coffee,” Darcy sat down and rolled over to see what Jane was up to.

“Late night?” Jane asked, going back to doing something with wires. 

“Season finale of Scandal,” before Jane could respond Darcy held up a hand “and before you ask, I watched it at a bar, so it’s basically like I went to a party. I even spoke to several people that weren’t the bartender. I’m getting out and meeting people, I promise.” 

Jane looked impressed “Good for you. I don’t think I’d leave the apartment if Thor didn’t make me. Any fun people at your viewing party?”

“A couple of Poli-Sci nerds who talked West Wing with me.” 

“That show has been over for years, Darcy,” Jane sighed. 

Darcy grabbed a weak magnet Jane had nearby and gathered up the tiny metal flakes Jane’s work was leaving all over the table. “That show will never be over in my heart. You don’t even have any room to talk, you Gilmore Girls fanatic. Anyway, we also talked about the process to get a law changed in the state of New York. I want to be able to carry a Taser, goddammit.” 

Jane raised her elbows so Darcy could pass the magnet under them “If it passes will they name it after you?” 

“Um, no. That’s not even remotely how laws work.” 

Jane looked unbothered “Well, let me know if I need to vote for it or anything. I’ll absolutely show up to get you back your Taser.” 

“I love that you care about arming me,” Darcy grinned, taking the flake covered magnet to the trash can and brushing it off.

“That’s what friends are for. Now, did you finish the syllabus for the guest lecture series?” 

Darcy wheeled over to her station and grabbed a copy for Jane. “Yes, and it is a beautiful work of art.” 

She snuck out while Jane was making the inevitable slew of changes to Darcy’s masterpiece and dropped off the books for Loki. It was all stuff she’d had to read in high school. On the back of Loki’s note she wrote “Next time you want something, you say ‘please’” and folded it into Great Expectations

She got called back right after lunch. He’d just sent back a note reading “We’ll see.”

Oh, he would see alright. The Lewises were fucking polite people and he would not enjoy his penance if he messed up this very simple task. 

Week Four of Loki’s reviews: 

“The Scarlet Letter: The arbitrary rules that you have allowed to govern you are the very definition of madness. Hester should have killed the entire village and burned it to the ground for good measure. The symbolism was disgustingly obvious but the characters were interesting enough, except for Dimmsdale who should have had the decency to kill himself before the book started and spare us all.

The Great Gatsby: Excellent writing but the substance is hardly worth the style. What are we meant to learn? That men are fools who want things which will destroy them. As if one would need a book to know that. Jordan Baker was the only sensible one in the entire thing. 

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf: Delicious. 

Great Expectations: There are more characters than the story requires and many of them serve little to no purpose. Sloppy. 

Jane Eyre: I cannot understand why Jane would have any interest at all in someone so difficult as Rochester. The ending was so ‘romantic’ as to make me angry I had read the book, but it was skillfully told.

Wuthering Heights: Ah, this is much more like it. Impenetrable dialogue in places but such fun! I see she’s the sister of the one that wrote Jane Eyre? This particular Bronte is much more to my taste. Heathcliff and Cathy are so perfectly destructive together. The Lintons and Earnshaws deserved everything they suffered.

Our Town: I very nearly vomited. If I were subjected to a performance of this, I would be forced to destroy the entire theatre so that no succeeding audiences would suffer its sickening taint. 

Of Mice and Men: I cannot believe that your kind read this. Why would you invent stories of such absurd sadness other than to torture yourselves? The ending was infuriating. Is the obvious solution to any problem is simply to destroy? There are a wealth of ways to escape that are far cleverer than death. How do your people even survive with such limited capacities for thought? 

Flowers for Algernon: It gets worse. You are the most maudlin and stupid creatures imaginable."

Darcy privately thought that he’d probably shed a tear at Flowers for Algernon, because even the intermittently deadly could understand something as basic as loss. He’d underlined stupid in a thick pen stroke. He must be off his game if he was reduced to name calling. His handwriting was nearly as bad as Jane’s, now that Darcy was looking at a whole page of it. 

She wrote in the margin “I thought your handwriting would be all flowy and princely. What’s with the scrawl? And about the sad books: we like to feel things because that’s maybe healthier than just leveling a city every time we’re sad.” 

Yasamin paused before taking the note from Darcy. “Do you want to meet him? He hasn’t asked to, but I wanted to offer. He’s allowed visitors, although as you can imagine that’s not really a popular option.” 

Darcy’s eyes widened. “Um, no, that sounds terrifying. I’d rather he didn’t know who I was.” 

“I understand. I just know that the penpal situation is sort of an additional burden for you considering he’s not allowed access to tech.”

“I don’t see that ever happening. Thanks for the offer though.” 

Yasamin nodded, taking the note and handed it to someone through the heavy door at the back of the room. “I’ll email when a reply comes.”

“You’re awesome,” Darcy gave a double thumbs up. 

Yasamin shrugged easily. “I did want to ask though, have you considered giving him The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Every time I see it on my shelf it reminds me of him.” 

Darcy nodded and scribbled it down on her hand. “I’ll put it on the list.” 

The email arrived just as Darcy’s post-lunch slump was hitting and she was thinking longingly of a dirty chai and a nap. The note just said: 

“My script is very nearly as good as yours and I’m writing in your ungainly alphabet. Runes are much cleaner and more pleasing.” 

He hadn’t risen to her bait about feelings, and he’d even sort of given her compliment, to the extent that saying something non-insulting was a compliment. Still with the superiority though. For a guy that presumably had people watching him pee, he had a lot of attitude about how great he was. 

Darcy dropped off the next load of books with a note that said ‘Dickhead’ in runes. She’d gotten Thor to write down the alphabet for her, saying that she just wanted to know what it looked like. Thor had seemed suspicious but didn’t fight it. He’d tried to explain a few letters that didn’t exist in English but Darcy stopped listening after ‘k’. 

The reply didn’t come until she was notified to come get the books again. The scrap of paper was covered in beautiful, perfectly even runes.

Darcy had to sit and transcribe it into the English alphabet, rune by rune, and then look up each individual word, most of which didn’t even translate directly. The message basically said that whoever sent that note wasn’t as smart as they thought they were. Darcy bit her lip; okay he may have had a point there because she’d just wasted an hour trying to figure out what this stupid note said. Maybe it was time to turn him over to the library for a while. She emailed Dan about setting it up. Apparently all the library required was a list of books and they’d group them as and when they were available. Easy. And now Darcy could get back to trying to live a grown-up life in the big city. Loki didn’t seem to get the message though. 

Week Five of Loki’s reviews:

“I didn’t imagine you would be so delicate as to avoid me. My handlers are taking this out on me, you’ll be pleased to hear. All of my meals have arrived at room temperature for the last several days. Obviously I can remedy that easily enough, but their displeasure is noted.

Das Kapital: Readable but not enjoyable. I’m not certain why you even put this on the list. Many of your political beliefs are premised on the idea that the strong can be prevented from subjugating the weak. When has that ever been true? 

Paradise Lost: Far more beautiful and compelling than the Bible. Ambition and skill punished by the fearful, as always. . This God figure has a pitiable lack of imagination. I can easily see why people 'damn' him so often. 

On the Road: I would rather have been thrown into the abyss of space for all eternity than to read the supposedly profound ramblings of this idiot. This is nearly as bad as listening to Thor’s friends recount their ‘adventures’. 

The Old Man and the Sea: I take it back, this is far worse. Who would read this!? Is this meant to be some sort of punishment or are you so deluded that you consider this to be quality storytelling? 

You should resume your role. And also try harder, all of these were more or less terrible.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. The library could keep him. She couldn’t quite stop herself from reading his notes though which Dan and Yasamin kept insisting on saving for her. 

Week Six of Loki’s reviews: 

“A People’s History of the United States: You should have let me rule you when you had the chance. The very worst thing I could have imagined for all of you would still have been less troubling than this. 

Moby Dick: You hunted creatures that are near or at your level of intelligence and it went poorly. That outcome would have been apparent to an imbecile. This does at least have the benefit of being well written.

Dracula  
Ah, this must be the work that birthed Twilight. This tale was amusing enough but I hardly think these ‘vampires’ as you call them are a threat. They must be invited in. Is it terribly difficult for your people to avoid welcoming danger into their homes? I should also point out that they are repelled by a readily available seasoning and crucifixes, which are apparently just two pieces of wood at angles.

The Last Unicorn: Unicorns are mute and smell terrible. This is ridiculous . 

Mother Goose’s Nursery Rhymes: These are quite clever. I don’t know why the only illuminated manuscripts you have are expressly for children, but apparently your children at least are discerning enough to see what you cannot. More illuminated works. 

How long do you intend to remain angry about this? These books are grouped together in ways that are so infuriating that it can only be by design. I nearly tore the spine of the unicorn book.”

Darcy had a twinge about Loki’s growing misery but it was a miniscule one and she had a date tonight with a hot guy from a beer tasting group she’d scoped out. Not that she was super in love with beer, but the class skewed male and seemed like good hunting grounds for someone casual and non-creepy. 

She came in looking harried the next day and held up her hand before Jane could ask “We had sex at his place after dinner, he was pretty good but called me a ‘real woman’ because I have stretch marks. And then he complained about how everyone in New York is always following the latest fitness thing. I left pretty much immediately and then ironically ate Ben and Jerry’s and watched Legally Blonde 2.” 

Jane put down her mug. “Oh god, Darce. I am so sorry.” 

Darcy shrugged, “I’ve had worse, but on the bright side I’ve slept with my first local so that’s out of the way, I guess…” 

“Do you want me to kill him?” Jane asked, gripping Darcy’s shoulders. 

Darcy felt a smile starting, “Kind of, but mostly I want you to tell me that we’re doing something fun this weekend.” 

“Definitely. Anything you want.”

“Pajamas and pancakes?” Darcy asked.

“Done. I’ll kick Thor out for Friday night,” Jane said. 

“You’re the best,” Darcy laid her head on Jane’s shoulder. 

“I still may kill this guy,” Jane growled. 

“At least he and I don’t know anyone in common so we’ll probably never see each other again.” 

“That’s all that’s keeping him alive.”

“I love when you get revengey” Darcy grinned up at Jane . 

~*~

 

Week Seven of Loki’s reviews: 

“Three Essays on the theory of sexuality by Freud  
I must thank you for this. I don’t believe I’ve laughed quite so hard in decades. And your kind truly believed this absurd trash, one of my jailers informed me. The credulous nature of your species never fails to delight me.

Interview with the Vampire: What is it with your kind and their obsession with vampires? At least this is the most interesting story of them thus far. At last, monsters that can speak for themselves without your insistence on softening them. Louis was incessantly whiny though. I can’t understand how Lestat managed to tolerate it. 

On the Origin of Species: The fact that you have evolved from incredibly simple organisms explains a great deal about your current state.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes  
His powers are extraordinary. It would take me perhaps several days before I would know so much about a man. I realize he is not real but even so, the intricacies of his deductions are very nearly spellwork. If I were so inclined, I think I could quite easily solve crimes. Not that I would, of course.

Brave New World: Tiresome. The metaphor could not have been more transparent or more absurd.

Long Day’s Journey Into Night: This sort of theatre is beyond the comprehension of most Asgardians and I’m suspicious that any human can grasp it either. As I’m sure you’ve been told, familial strife is something of a specialty for me. 

I would prefer if you would resume delivery of books. Please.”

Hah! He’d given in and said ‘Please’. It was about the worst ‘Please’ imaginable, but that seemed par for the course with Loki and it was an improvement over his usual manner. Good. If there was any hope of out-stubborning Loki and getting him to be even 10% less of a prick, she was going to manage it. She went to tell Dan she’d take over again and he looked weirdly relieved to hear it. Apparently Loki wasn’t fun to be around when he wasn’t getting his way. Shocking. 

Darcy went home pumped at Loki caving. Unfortunately she also went home full of germs because she woke up in the morning with eyes that were so puffy it felt like they’d been replaced by itchy marshmallows. On top of that, she couldn’t breathe through her nose. Goddammit... She’d heard it had been going around but Jane never got sick which always lulled Darcy into a fall sense of security around cold and flu season. Right up until Darcy was barely able to move and Jane was still soldering electrical components. 

Darcy called in sick to work, which turned into several days of calling in sick to work as she ordered every spicy food that delivered and tried to burn the cold into submission. She considered making Caldo de Pollo but the effort of to leave the house to do more than stock up on orange juice was beyond her. Jane stopped by twice with food, boxes of tissues and gossip from the Tower. Apparently Barnes was sick and Steve was hovering like crazy which had driven Barnes to hide in Tony’s workshop so now Tony was sick which was making everyone want to kill him, Pepper included. According to Jane he combined immense neediness with being the world’s worst patient for a result guaranteed to incite murderous rage. Dr. Banner was the only one who could ignore it easily and still check in on Tony because he’d had patients with actual illnesses so Tony’s whining was pretty much static to him.

Everyone at SHIELD was feeling run down either because they were sick or they were covering bases for people who were. Even Thor had sneezed, an experience that was so abrupt and deafening that everyone in the room with him had instinctively drawn their weapons. 

Darcy couldn’t help laughing but her throat felt like it had been gone over with a rake so her laugh ended up being mostly a weird back-of-the-throat gurgle, which Jane, to her credit, didn’t laugh at. 

Darcy finally managed to stumble into work on a Thursday, already hoping for the weekend. She was weakly sipping at a thermos full of hot tea and checking her emails when she noticed that there were at least a dozen from Dan and from Yasamin. The latest one from Yasamin read:

“We’re so sorry for the number of emails. Dr. Foster told us yesterday that you’ve been out sick. Dan’s home today as well. I hope that you feel better. When you’re back and feeling able, there are some notes for you.” 

Darcy went to pick them up right before lunch and was handed a slightly bulging manila envelope by Yasamin. 

“They’re all in there. I should explain that Dan cancelled the arrangement with the library right before you became sick so Loki’s been without books except for a few we were able to find abandoned in the break room.” 

Darcy took it back to her desk, sat down with her reheated tea and dumped out the notes. They started out polite enough:

“I’ve been informed that you’ll be taking over delivery once more. My relief is palpable.” 

“I grow bored. I would even read The Old Man and the Sea again.” 

“No, I wouldn’t.” 

“Perhaps I was better off with the ‘library’ as they at least were reasonably prompt, if incompetent.”

“Your childish silence is testing my patience now.” 

“If I ever get my hands on you, I will cut off your tongue and choke you with it. I will skin your fingers so you may never write another word. You cannot ignore me at your convenience like a toy that you’ve grown bored of. I am at your pathetic mercy for now but the Norns help you if you are ever at mine.” 

The final note was just runes that had been scratched so deeply into the paper that it had been punctured in two places. Darcy was pretty sure she didn’t need to translate it to know that it wasn’t going to be a haiku. Darcy narrowed her eyes. She was tired, still sick, croaky, red-eyed, puffy faced, sneezy, kind of bloated because periods are fuckers that show up at terrible times, and ready to kill. 

She dragged herself to Floor Eight and growled, “Take me to him .” 

Yasamin looked a little startled but motioned for Darcy to follow her. “Right this way.” 

She led her through the heavy door, down a hall, asked her for a retinal scan, then took her through a very thorough security check. The guards patted her down and made her leave her phone. Then an elevator and another security check. There was a short golf-cart ride down what must have been an underground tunnel, then another security check and then she was pointed to a door flanked by two guards bristling with weaponry. Yasamin waited by the cart as they let Darcy in and gestured to the barrier encased living quarters. 

Loki was stretched across a couch with his back to the door. Darcy strode up and slammed her hand against the barrier as hard as she could, making a reverberating thud that caused Loki to whip around angrily. Darcy glared at him.

He stood to get a better look at her and then his eyebrows raised in comprehension. “Oh, it’s you.” 

“Yeah, it’s me,” Darcy croaked. “Now listen you spoiled piece of shit, if you ever pull threats with me again, the only thing I’ll bring you is a punch in the balls. Apologize.” 

Loki smirked and the demand hung there before he tilted his chin up as if in challenge. “I apologize,” he said smoothly. 

“Good,” Darcy grunted, then swept out leaving the stunned guards staring after her. 

Jane saw a very runny and sickly looking Darcy stomp back to her station and immediately said, “Go home. You can come back in on Monday, but your desk is mostly covered in tissues right now and you’re almost out of tea anyway. You need more rest.”

Darcy put her head on her desk. “Ugh, I just got into it with Loki and he’s probably going to hunt me down and I’m supposed to bring him books. I hate everything right now. Just take me out back and put me out of my misery.” 

Jane came over and helped pack up Darcy’s stuff. “He won’t kill you and he can wait a weekend for his books. He’s nearly 1,000 years old. I don’t think a few days will matter.” 

“Promise?” 

“Yes, I promise, now get home and go to sleep. I don’t want you back here until Monday,” Jane said, buttoning Darcy’s coat for her. 

Darcy made it home with the help of a cab and Thor’s card. She downed a bunch of juice, which she was too stuffed up to taste anyway, and managed to get into pajamas before falling asleep. Loki could wait.


	4. Subject Librarian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy Lewis is not above exploiting the system. Or Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could never have done this without Runrabbitrun betaing and helping me to suss out the characters. They are the wind beneath my wings, the song in my heart, and the whiskey in my hot cocoa. Thank you. 
> 
> PG, your wisdom and insight keep me going and turn over new leaves each time. Thank you.

Darcy felt reasonably human again by Friday evening, enough to actually come out of the self-imposed decongestant haze. By Saturday she was able to actually taste food again. Sunday was spent going to the library and finally doing laundry which she maybe sort of hadn’t done in about ten days. 

Jane checked her over thoroughly first thing on Monday, including feeling her neck to see what her lymph nodes were up to. 

Darcy swatted her hands away. “You’re not even that kind of doctor! Unless I have some galaxies hiding in my tonsils I don’t think you’re going to be able to diagnose me.” 

Jane nodded, satisfied. “You’re fine. When you were sick you wouldn’t give me any reaction to that.” 

“I’m pretty sure I would have reacted to you poking at my neck regardless,” Darcy huffed. 

Jane looked at her worriedly, “No, because I did it on Thursday and you just sat there.” 

Darcy blinked, “God, how much Dayquil was I on… I don’t even remember that.”

“That’s yet another reason why I sent you home. Trust me when I tell you you’re sick.” 

“Oh my god, you get one PhD and suddenly you’re a doctor!” 

“That's usually the process,” Jane was grinning. 

Darcy grabbed the usual backpack of books “Argh, you know what I meant! I’m going to drop these off. No more terrible jokes when I come back, it’s too early on a Monday for this.” 

Jane just hummed noncommittally. 

Darcy ran into Thor on the elevator. He was delicately holding a frappuccino . 

Thor smiled broadly, “Good morning, Darcy. I’m glad to see you’re well again!” 

Darcy wrapped her arms around his side in a hug. “Thanks, me too.” She pointed at the frappuccino, “That had better be for you, Jane’s not allowed that much sugar in the morning. She turns into a cranky toddler by 2pm if you do that.”

Thor looked concerned. “She didn’t tell me that.” 

Darcy shrugged, “Well, they’re delicious and who turns down delicious stuff? It’s going in the fridge and she can have it later.”

“Will she not be upset?”

“I would rather deal with Jane upset about that then deal with Jane crashing after a sugar high. You have no idea. It’s carnage.” 

Thor looked a little dreamy eyed. “She is formidable.” 

Darcy patted Thor’s arm. “She is definitely that.” 

Thor picked up the backpack and shouldered it. “I will help you carry these to Floor Eight. You are still delicate from your illness.” 

He let Darcy lead the way off the elevator and into the office, which had a much swankier desk setup now and a few plants. 

Yasamin waved them in, “You came to see it! The new desk is amazing. Thank you.” 

Darcy turned to look at Thor, who was taking the books out of the backpack and setting them on a new work table surrounded by plush, padded office chairs. 

“Wait, you did this? You know them?”

Thor nodded, “They have been better to Loki than he deserves and have allowed me to remain informed even if I cannot have contact with him.” 

Dan popped up from under the desk, pulling a flashlight out of his mouth. “Hey Thor! All of this stuff is amazing! We can’t thank you enough.” 

Thor grinned. “You owe me no thanks. I am grateful for all you do and any help I can offer is yours.”

“Wow, I feel like my worlds are colliding a little bit. How come I never see you around here?” Darcy asked. 

Thor looked sheepish. “I think SHIELD is made uneasy by my interest in Loki’s well-being. I don’t inquire often, although I did hear the tale of your visit to him. I am pleased he apologized.”

Darcy’s mouth twisted, “Barely. He’s pretty terrible at apologies.”

Thor gave a conciliatory smile. “It is something of a family trait.” 

Yasamin passed the books to someone on the other side of the heavy door and then gave Darcy a folded note. “I know you brought quite a few books, but he’s been low on reading material so it’s possible he may be done with these as soon as tomorrow.”

“I need to just get a UHaul of them,” Darcy muttered. 

“I will help should you need to bring more at one time,” Thor offered. 

“Um, I’m not sure the library is ready for a visit from the God of Thunder.” 

Thor raised an eyebrow. “I can be quiet.”

Darcy grinned, “Fair enough, but I think the storytime corner kiddos would lose their minds.” 

Thor grinned “I am glad that you also tell stories to your children. It was a favorite of Loki’s and mine. Much better than lessons. If they would allow it, I could read the children some tales.” 

“Uh, let me check with them first before we try anything. I don’t want there to be an excited mob or something.” 

Dan conferenced with Yasamin quietly then said, “If you’re sure that this is something you’d want to do, we can work on arranging it.”

Yasamin pursed her lips. “Mr. Stark absolutely cannot know about it or he’ll want to get involved.” 

“Why would that be bad?” Thor asked. 

Dan looked uncomfortable. “The library has hosted events for him before and it didn’t go well. We’re not in on the details but I think the words 'Tony Stark', 'supermodel', 'caught', and 'shelves' are enough to make it pretty clear what went down. Er, happened,” He winced. Yasamin sniggered quietly.

Dan coughed a little nervously. “There was another note as well. We normally don’t read them but this one was negotiated through us. He wanted to invite you to meet with him ’under more pleasant circumstances’” He tried to hand her the note. 

Darcy held up her hands. “Woah, I’m not going to his lair again. Once was enough.”

Dan compromised and just set the note down next to Darcy. “It wouldn’t be there, unless you preferred it to be? Normally visits are in a special room we have set aside. I won’t say it’s nicer but it’s not as prison-like and you don’t have to go through nearly as much security,” he explained. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but the option is there.” 

Thor looked skeptically at the note “That’s quite unusual. Loki has never invited anyone to meet him” 

“You can only imagine how honored I am...” Darcy said flatly, taking the note and shoving it in the empty backpack. 

Thor caught Darcy’s eye and said earnestly, “I will not ask this of you. He may be safe in his confinement but I would not ever ask you to be in his company if you did not wish to be.”

“Well, should the urge ever strike, I guess I know where to find him,” Darcy jerked a thumb at the heavy door, “I should get back to work. Jane has like twelve different things to do before the first lecture next week.” 

Darcy grabbed the frappucino Thor had left unattended, in its own slowly growing pool of condensation, and headed for the door

Thor held out his hand for the frappucino, grinning. “My Lady Jane will not appreciate being denied and I will not take the blame for this, Darcy.” 

Darcy sighed, “Fine, I’ll give it to her, but you’re taking her to lunch and she’s eating some vegetables!” 

Darcy went back to the lab and handed Jane the frappucino, promising Thor would be by to take her to lunch in a few hours. The sugar kicked in and Darcy was trying to follow Jane through several lines of thought at once and still keep her notes organized in some way. Thor showed up just as the sugar high was reaching its peak and managed to coax her away from her work for a quick lunch.

Darcy sat at her desk and munched on her roast beef sandwich. It was from the canteen and middling at best, but cooking just seemed so…exhausting while she was still full of muscle aches and watery eyes. She’d try it this weekend. Maybe something easy like soup. That seemed achievable for someone whose primary goals were to get more sleep and catch up on Netflix. She opened Loki’s latest review note and read it over between bites. 

Loki’s Review: Week Eight 

“My reading material has been limited to what has been found abandoned at SHIELD so I am quite literally reading ‘trash’.

Revival: Interesting and simple but nothing extraordinary. Good for passing time though, which is as much as some stories are meant to do.

The Tipping Point: Punishingly dull drivel. I fell asleep within twenty pages and refused to try again. 

The New Yorker: Self important. If a story-teller is congratulating themselves before the tale is even told then they have betrayed the story and the craft. I can appreciate the subjects but really.

Patriot Games: The plot felt like it was put together by someone who had once had imagination described to them but does not actually have one themselves. On top of that, Jack Ryan seems like the sort you wouldn’t trust to save you from a dull conversation, let alone the fate of a political power. If this belonged to Agent Pierson or Agent Masri I will never let them live it down. 

Cosmopolitan: Visually intriguing. I’m not certain what the point of it is. The list of ‘Sex Tips For A Sizzling Summer” were baffling. Hiding your underclothes in someone else’s things mainly suggests an inability to keep track of one’s belongings. Really though, any publication that suggests using nipples to tickle someone’s feet deserves to be burned. Coincidently, my copy did mysteriously catch fire while I was reading it near an open flame. Clumsy me. 

Fifty Shades of Grey: This story suggests that I may have set my sights too low in thinking Earth was worthy of my time and attention. Ridiculous to the point of self-parody. Christian Grey seems like the most deplorable sort of dull and power mad fool. I see this is a series, so hopefully he dies in the next book. Admittedly, the sex was less appalling than much of what Cosmo, in their wisdom, thought reasonable. 

The Viscount Who Loved Me: More enjoyable than many of the other things you’ve subjected me to. More books like this would be acceptable.” 

The Viscout Who Loved Me? What the fuck? Darcy flipped the note over looking for more explanation but there was nothing more. He was into romance novels …What the hell world was she living in? He had to be fucking with her. His reaction to Stephen King and Tom Clancy seemed about expected. Cosmo probably deserved to be burned. Bad Loki for setting fire to something, obviously, but an abandoned Cosmo was basically biding time until it went into the recycling. Darcy could let that go in this case. Even just reading his take on the sex tips had her crossing her arms over her chest and shuddering. 

She’d grab some Nora Roberts for him the next time she was at the library and see what he made of it. She’d only given him a bunch of kids’ books this time since he was so into ‘illuminated’ stories so he’d probably be in need of more books almost immediately.

Darcy pulled out the other note which just said: 

“If I’d known you were coming I would have made myself presentable but I see that enraging you is the best way to capture your attention. A dangerous precedent you’ve set for me, Ms. Lewis. If you’d like to meet me again, I’d prefer to do it under more pleasant circumstances. I’m sure my handlers can arrange it.” 

She rolled her eyes. She had to give him props for packing that much passive-aggressive tone into so few sentences but if he wanted her attention he was going to have to work harder. She flipped the note over and wrote 

“Do you want me to turn you over to the library again? I’m sure they’d be delighted to take you off my hands.” 

She dropped the note off before getting back to grips with organizing the morning’s chaotic notes from Jane.

The next day there was a note on her desk “If you’re too frightened of me then perhaps that would be best. Although the woman who came to see me was obviously not afraid to rattle the cage of a monster. I wonder where all of that bravery went? Coincidently, I’m sure you ordinarily must look better than that. You did visit me dripping with plague. And I’m done with the illuminated works.” 

Darcy had to sit down to keep from collapsing with laughter. This was like bad melodrama. He probably practiced in front of the mirror with a fake twirly mustache and a cape. Well, she knew what she was getting him next. She sent Thor to the library (he had promised to leave the hammer behind) and he’d come back in time for her to drop a new bunch of books off at lunch. 

Her note this time read: “Guess who’s earned some terrible books this week? Coincidently, you looked sallow and weak. They should probably check you for jaundice. Do they take you out on a leash and make sure you get enough sun?” 

She dropped the note and a new stack of books off with Dan who was buried under a stack of paperwork. “I’ll make sure he gets it, sorry about the mess. They’ve announced that his case is going to be reviewed in a few months and we have a lot of documentation to go through before then.” 

Darcy patted Dan’s arm sympathetically and packed away the books and Loki’s review. 

She headed to the break room and pulled out the latest note while waiting for water to boil for ramen. She’d made soup but vastly overestimated how long she could eat the same thing before wanting to scream. Also, in what universe was it fair that one store only carried maybe half of the ingredients you needed? Maybe Dan could explain the mysteries of buying and making food in a big city. 

She opened up the note and noticed a tiny drawing of a bat in the corner.

Loki’s Reviews Week Nine: 

“Regarding the bat, I haven’t been moved to draw anything in decades and there are no such creatures as bats on Asgard. They hardly seem real but Agent Masri showed me photographs claiming them to be real images of these creatures. Regardless, they are intriguing. 

Where The Wild Things Are: The creatures remind me of some of the beasts painted in the books in our library. I think the value of coming home is overestimated but to a child of course, home means a great deal. 

Stellaluna – I don’t understand how the birds could not recognize Stellaluna as something other than a bird. I’m uncertain whether it was willful ignorance or the genuine desire to help her. Stellaluna is quite brave though and seems like the sort to survive. I like her. 

The Rainbow Fish – Beautiful drawings but the shrouded attempt to teach the value of sharing could not be less convincing. If you have rainbow scales, they are yours, are they not? Why would you give them away?

The Giving Tree – Heavy-handed and depressing.

The Tales of Beatrix Potter – Simple but pleasing. I’m glad we can agree that clothed animals are amusing. 

Animalia – I see you’re going to teach me to respect your letters. I admit, the drawings are exquisite, particularly the tigers.

Horton Hears a Who – If you’re suggesting that I am either similar to Horton or should become similar to Horton, I rescind my invitation to see me again, as of this note. 

Madeleine – I doubt you’ll be surprised to learn that I have a fondness for Madeleine and her ability to cause a stir wherever she goes. She does not seem to aim quite big enough but that is a youthful error.”

Darcy tore off the corner with the bat drawing and put it in her pocket. It wasn’t bad and looked more or less like a bat, or at least like a strange fox-cat with wings. 

Darcy couldn’t stop herself from grinning at least a bit. The idea of Loki intently studying children’s books was precious. Now he just needed a beanie with a propeller and a comically oversize lollipop. For a second she considered getting him those props before considering that A) it would be a waste of time and money to get them on top of the fact that B) where did anyone even sell propeller beanies these days? Pepper no doubt knew where or knew someone who knew where. Just in case Tony needed 10,000 propeller beanies for some reason, probably. 

She was pondering whether or not gag-gifts made sense to Asgardians when she bit down, nearly cracking a tooth on what looked like a fossilized pea that had refused to soften in boiling water. She tossed the evil pea in the trash and then after a moment of consideration, drained and dumped the ramen as well. Next time she saw Yasamin or Dan, she was going to find out what the hell they did for lunch. 

She stole a Pop-Tart from the box that Jane kept in her desk for when she was too busy to even use a toaster. It was one of the lame unfrosted kinds which meant she was proud of Jane for not just getting something insane like Chocolate Sundae flavor but bummed for herself at having to eat a plain Pop-Tart. Still, anything was an improvement over the ramen. 

She hadn’t planned on leaving a second note but Darcy had to stay a little later than normal to help Jane rehearse her opening lecture and figured she might as well check on Yasamin or Dan and leave Loki a drawing to sustain him through the horrible books she’d subjected him to. She went to Floor Eight but there was no one there, just massive stacks of files. She left a quick scribbly drawing of what she remembered Madeleine looking like, which probably wasn’t right but whatever. Underneath her doodle she wrote “This is a Darcy Lewis original, so save it. It’ll be worth big bucks someday.”

The next day Darcy went to campus with Jane and basically acted as guard dog, protecting her from people desperate to get sub-contracted by her, people desperate to argue with her about her findings, and students desperate to convince her that she should be their PhD chair.

Post-lecture, they made it into the elevator with no hangers on, largely thanks to Darcy loudly telling Jane about all the bed bugs at her apartment and how she’d already given them to several people. Everyone stayed back after that. 

Once the elevator doors shut, Jane grinned and bounced on her toes. “I think it went really well! I thought I’d hate this but it’s actually kind of fun!” 

Darcy high fived her. “You rocked it. Did you see all those star-struck science-y types?” 

“Don’t let me get sucked into being anyone’s PhD advisor. I barely got my own PhD. I really don’t think I could help someone else get theirs,” Jane insisted. 

Darcy just sighed, “You’re already thinking about it aren’t you.” 

“Maybe…Some of them just have really promising ideas and I really want to see where their research goes!” Jane pleaded. 

“If you do pick one, it’s your responsibility. You have to water them and clean up after them, make sure they submit their funding paperwork, the whole thing. PhD candidates are a lot of work.” 

Jane rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mom. I promise I won’t forget to feed them. And how’s your pet, by the way?”

Darcy scoffed. “Not mine. Also not friendly, for which he’s currently being punished.” Her mouth quirked, “Although he has a love of kids’ books so that’s kind of cute.” 

Jane raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that’s surprising. They don’t seem ‘sophisticated’ enough for him.” 

“I think he just likes illustrations.” Darcy waved it off. 

“You should give him Calvin and Hobbes. I think he might identify.” 

Darcy whipped her head back. “Oh God, Calvin is a holy terror, I’m not sure him identifying is a good thing.”

“As someone who spent a lot of time as a lonely kid, I just think it could resonate for him,” Jane shrugged. 

Darcy rubbed her temples, grunting. “Does everyone have book recs for him? I feel like I should just send out a mass email and see if anyone else has thoughts on what the captive crazypants might like.” 

Jane only said, “It’s your project, of course.” 

Darcy felt her shoulders sag and leaned against the elevator railing, “I’m not territorial about it, I just don’t get the appeal. He doesn’t even like most of the stuff anyway. It’s basically retraining a very stubborn, very arrogant…thing.” 

“Well, you’re still doing this and you could have stopped a long time ago so you tell me what the appeal is.” Jane suggested gently. 

Darcy waved her hand vaguely, “Eh, It’s nice to have a project that’s mine, I guess. I do so much work that has to comply with what SHIELD wants or what the universities want or what the people you’re data sharing with want. Loki is sort of easy compared to all that. Well, not easy, but you know there’s no oversight or specific results expected. I can just do what seems like the best thing at the time. Or, you know, the most punishing thing.” 

The elevator spit them out on the ground floor and they headed out to the special car SHIELD had ferried them in. They buckled in and Jane just kept looking at her. 

“Yeeeees?” Darcy asked. 

Jane chewed on her lip before offering, “Do you want to go back to school or something? You can work part time or something? I don’t know if you miss ceramics? I know you had to give that up in the move, but whatever you want, we can find a way to make it work. I don’t want you to just be trapped in the stuff I do.”

Darcy grinned. “Awww, thanks. I’ll figure it out. I’m done with school for awhile but I’m thinking of doing knitting. That’s a thing people do in the frigid North, right?”

Jane checked her phone and showed it to Darcy, “It’s 63 outside”

“Frigid North,” Darcy shuddered . 

Jane laughed. “I’m getting you one of those enormous Russian style greatcoats for Christmas.” 

“I’ll be frozen to death by then.” 

“Science can find a way to bring you back,” Jane said with eerie calm. 

“NO. God, you science types and your total lack of forethought. You’re the reason Jurassic Park is anything. If I’m dead, please leave me that way,” Darcy whined. 

“Scientific inquiry is valid,” Jane insisted.

Darcy held up both hands “Necromancy,” she waggled one hand, “is not the same thing as scientific inquiry,” she waggled the other.

Jane looked unconvinced and changed the subject. 

Darcy checked in with Dan when they got back, curious to see what he was doing for lunch. He was drinking some sort of disgusting protein shake, the monster. 

Dan held up his hands in defense. “If I eat real food for lunch I just fall asleep.” 

Darcy just pursed her lips. “So you admit that this isn’t real food?”

“Well no, it’s some sort of processed whey thing but I eat breakfast and dinner so it’s not the worst.” Dan took a sip and shrugged. 

Darcy shook her head in mock disappointment. “I feel differently about you now.” 

Dan laughed "There’s a really good Pho place around the corner if you want something quick.”

Darcy held up her lunch bag, “I’m fine. I have a sad and overpriced sandwich that I made myself.”

“How did you mess up a sandwich?” Dan blurted. 

“Don’t start with me, shakeboy, your avocados here are overpriced and flavorless,” Darcy scowled.

“Depends where you shop.”

Darcy’s mouth pinched. “Everyone says that. How many stores do I need to go to in order to make a damn sandwich?”

Dan looked thoughtful. “In this city, probably three if you’re making something harder than ham and cheese. Four if you want really nice cheese.” 

“And people somehow cook here?” Darcy looked skeptical. 

“Well, nothing fancy, at least not if you’re the normal 9-5er. Here’s the note and books. He apparently didn’t need them for very long.” 

“I’ll bet he didn’t…I’m going to go eat my sad-wich now,” Darcy grumbled. 

“Enjoy, I guess?” 

Darcy patted her lunch bag grimly. “Hugely.” 

She snuck into one of the meeting rooms that was usually unlocked and chewed despondently at her sandwich. It was okay but she’d been spoiled by properly ripe avocadoes and bread that actually tasted of something. Coming to NYC it was obvious why people stayed in somewhere as podunk as New Mexico. Your money went far and you could actually afford some of the nice things in life and the nice things weren’t a pain in the ass to get. Okay, admittedly it was a little hard to find haute cuisine, but how often was that even an issue? 

No, she’d wanted to move to the Big City, she’d wanted to make her mark and this was totally in her power to figure out. She’d tased a god and dealt with space elves. She could deal with this. Resolve back in place, she unfolded Loki’s note. 

Loki’s Review Week Ten: 

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus- Either your kind fail to understand themselves or fail to understand the most basic aspects of astronomy. More likely both. 

Eat Mangoes Naked: Finding Pleasure Everywhere- Against all judgment I tried. I would say that it does not deliver on the promise, but the delight of seeing the horror on my jailers’ faces cannot be overstated. 

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up- You’ll be shocked to find that while my rooms are now cleaner, I am no closer to the magical happiness that should be, even now, surging through me. I did manage to find a ring I thought lost. 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People- I suppose it rather depends on what you wish to be effective at. I’ve been quite effective at not setting fire to each of these ‘books’ so really I’ve done as well as any person might be expected to. 

How to Win Friends and Influence People- Surely the problem, to your minds, is that I’m rather too good at these things for your comfort. 

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are- Who I am is someone increasingly losing patience with your idea of ‘humor’. And I resent the implication that my current self is imperfect. Although I grant you, to a narrow human mind it could appear that way. 

The Secret- In this moment, what I currently wish for is the slow and painful death of your kind so that no more books like this shall ever be written again. 

Decisive: How To Make Better Choices In Life and Work- No. 

The Four Agreements- I agree with none of this and I despise you. 

Warrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You Are Meant to Be- You have no idea. 

You have succeeded in making me long for Twilight or even The Old Man and the Sea. Well done to you, you pitiless harpy. You were much more tractable prior to your bout with the plague.” 

Darcy snorted and wrote “More like before I met you. Are you willing to behave now?” on the back of the paper, refolding it. 

Darcy had finished half her sandwich and the entire baggie of Fritos she’d brought. God, Fritos were good. She looked at the other half of her sandwich and just snapped the lid shut on it. Stupid Loki got food delivered to him like a spoiled manbaby. Yeah, yeah, he was in prison so there was obviously a tradeoff but she definitely had earned a slice of that action. 

Darcy looked around the conference room, scanning it for abandoned goodies before leaving. She rifled through the baskets by the coffee station. Score! There were still some of those prepackaged biscotti left from some meeting. Dessert was on SHIELD today. She grabbed one and shoved it into her bag. Oh what the hell? She grabbed another two. They’d be a handy snack when traipsing around town. 

How come she never got invited to the meetings with the good shit? Yeah, meetings were the worst thing imaginable but biscotti almost made it worth it, in Darcy’s opinion. Apparently being assistant meant that you didn’t get any of the perks. Although here she was busting ass for Loki, doing SHIELD a massive favor (even if they didn’t know it), surely that deserved some reward…

Loki was SHIELD business, as far as Darcy could tell. Maybe babysitting him during a meal of some kind would send some good stuff her way. Small potatoes, but perhaps showing progress with Loki could get her some meaningful perks. A parking space or maybe even a fucking raise. Loki would think she’d caved and be all smug about it. He'd never believe she was savvy enough to exploit his position, but whatever. She didn’t have to answer to him. Just to her stomach and to SHIELD. 

She dropped her stuff off back at her desk and went back to Floor Eight.

Dan looked up in concern. “Are you okay? Did he say something upsetting? We read over the note and it seemed fine, but if you feel threatened for any reason we’ll certainly–“ 

“No, definitely not. His note was milder than usual so all is well on that front, here’s my reply,” Darcy handed the note back to Dan. “If you have a second, I wanted to talk about SHIELD policy,” Darcy tried not to look too conniving. 

Dan didn’t respond, looking quietly horrified at the thought of talking policy.

Darcy sidled up to the desk, “If I had lunch with Loki, sort of a bookclub rehabilitation thing, would SHIELD pay for lunch?” It was a baby step, but she had to start somewhere. 

Dan’s face visibly eased. “Oh thank goodness. In answer to your question: probably. Anything related to SHIELD’s interests, SHIELD is always willing to pay for.” 

“Out of just, y’know, curiosity, what’s the upper limit there?” Darcy was trying for casual with a hint of earnest devotion to the cause.

“For Yasamin and me it’s always been about $40 each per meal,” Dan replied. 

“That’s insane!” Darcy leaned in when she said it, making Dan get that skittish look again. 

Dan clarified, “Well, it’s a way of skirting overtime pay because the assumption is that it’s a working lunch but you’re not technically on the clock and unless you eat a $40 meal they’re kind of getting a break on paying you but it’s not a horrible compromise so everyone has just grumbled and accepted it.” 

Darcy nodded along. “Well fuck ‘The Man’ but also yay food, right?”

“If you’re serious about this, I should warn you I’m fairly sure SHIELD won’t pay for lunch five days a week but I bet you can get two days a week paid for.” 

Darcy’s mouth twisted in reluctance. “That does mean eating with Loki, or in front of Loki I guess, two days a week.” She could probably do that. 

Dan looked sympathetic. “That’s the ‘working’ part, unfortunately. Is it worth $40?” 

Darcy thought about the raise she was damn well going to get for her Loki improvements. “Fuck yes it is.”

“Well, we can get the funding set up and arrange a kind of debit card situation. It’s going to have to be delivery since obviously he’s not really allowed to leave. I’ll let him know what’s up. Do you have any preferred days? He’s kind of at your mercy schedule-wise unless he’s on assignment.” 

Darcy took a deep breath, she was really going through with this. “I guess Tuesday and Friday are probably best for me. How about 12:30?”

Dan pulled out a waiver. “We’ll get it set up. Just come here around 12:15 next Tuesday and we’ll bring you to the meeting area. We’ll have the funds set up by then. Can you sign this?” 

Darcy steeled herself and signed it. She got a note back from Loki within hours. 

“I’ll ‘behave’ for the proper incentive. Agent Pierson has said that I’ll be meeting you again on Tuesday so it would seem that curiosity won out.” 

Darcy dropped off a load of books the next day and a note saying “If it makes you happy to think that.” 

~*~

 

She spent a restless weekend and on Monday got the latest review while dropping off the entire series to date of A Song of Ice and Fire, and a couple of Nora Roberts books. Yasamin looked at Darcy in confusion when she saw the copy of Jewels of the Sun. 

“Is he being punished?” Yasamin asked. 

“Nope, this is apparently the kind of thing he thinks is fun to read.”

Yasamin struggled to say something before landing on. “That’s…unexpected,” and scribbling a note. 

Darcy patted the books. “Not as bad as Tom Clancy though, so he’s got a point there, I guess.” She tried to casually crane her neck and see what Yasamin had written down but Yasamin smoothly placed the paper under the keyboard. 

Looking up, Yasamin replied “True enough. I’ll let you know when these are done, but I suspect you’ll see him before then.” She offered Darcy a commiserating smile. 

Great. 

Loki’s Review Week Ten

“I won’t claim that these were worth my obedience but I am at least glad you can show mercy enough to cease torturing a prisoner. Certainly if we run out of points to discuss tomorrow I can always fill the time by enumerating the many horrors you’ve subjected me to. No doubt you’d find that enjoyable…

The Hunger Games: Children fighting to the death is an unacceptable and lazy topic designed to shock rather than entertain. It is entertaining but really, if the author had any craft they would have chosen better. 

The Lord of the Rings: I’m at a loss as to how anyone could so blatantly steal from the Edda and then make such a meandering tale. Unacceptably long and ill-told. Beautiful turn of phrase doesn’t make up for wasting time. The interminable descriptions of trees alone… 

The Hobbit: Much better. A properly rendered reluctant hero is apparently uncommon among your people. And I must say, this is far too kind to Dwarves. 

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: I can tell it’s well loved by your people. It’s easily one of the most thoroughly handled books I’ve been lent. I’d like to disagree with your judgment but I did enjoy it. The hero who discovers his own strength is tired but this is one of the freshest tellings of it I’ve heard in perhaps a century. I am not at all convinced by Dumbledore though. 

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: I laughed out loud several times which was inconvenient. More than one person felt encouraged to ask me ‘what’s funny?’ as if I was interested in a conversation. 

Let the Right One In: You have a sick obsession with creatures that lust after your blood but this is the most well-crafted story of them. 

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: The hero of this is atrocious and stupid. The writer obviously just wanted a character that could have any woman he desired. Lisbeth is extraordinary though and quite nearly persuades me that the writer should be forgiven.

I’ve kept your drawing as instructed. Somehow I doubt it will gain value as time passes but it at least amuses me.” 

Well that was all probably a good sign. Maybe. She threw herself into work on the application form for PhD candidates. Jane had decided that she would take on one candidate with a possible second candidate in a year. Darcy remained skeptical that Jane was going to be able to help parent a PhD candidate through the process but they were pretty adorable and excited to interview with Jane so Darcy was going to try and be game about this.

As long as she could keep her focus on fighting with formatting on Word, she wouldn’t have to think about tomorrow and Step One of ‘Operation Fix Loki Sort Of and Then Get an Awesome Raise’.


	5. Gifts and Bequests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would never have kept going without your comments and encouragement. That you read and enjoy this means everything to me. Particular shoutout to runrabbitrun for betaing/general wonderfulness and to sightsoblind for her brilliant flashfic gift "Out of Stock". 
> 
> All mistakes are mine, so if there's a glaring error, please do let me know.

Darcy felt sick, full of coffee and not enough breakfast. She thought about telling Dan she changed her mind but she'd rather die than give Loki the satisfaction of cancelling. She'd gotten the debit card from Dan earlier and placed an order for sushi to be delivered that afternoon.

The hours seemed to pass slowly and entirely too fast, like she was living inside one of Jane's physics nightmares. Darcy only realized how close it was to Loki Time when she had to go collect the sushi downstairs.

Thor appeared a little after noon, gave Jane a kiss and offered to walk Darcy to her meeting with Loki.

They waited silently at the elevator before Thor announced, "I won't let him hurt you."

"Do you think he can hurt me in there?"

"No, but if he did so much as try there would be consequences."

Darcy leaned her head on Thor. "I'm touched!"

"You are part of my Midgard family ."

"Aw, thanks! Back at you!"

"Will you be alright with him?"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaked out."

"You do not have to do this. I have doubts that he can be trusted even imprisoned as he is."

"Probably not, but he's useful. I'm sure the two of us can get along well enough."

Thor looked unconvinced, "Indeed."

He didn't offer anything more. Dan met them at the elevator and took Darcy to another elevator that unlocked with a key.

"It will be okay, Thor." Darcy said over her shoulder.

"It's not you I mistrust. SHIELD will have much to answer for if this goes awry." He looked meaningfully into the monitoring cameras.

"Understood."

Darcy and Dan got into the elevator where Dan scanned a fingerprint.

He led her into a room with what was essentially a force-field in the middle. Loki was already there sprawled across a chair, reading. He looked up and nodded at Dan before returning to his book. There were squashy chairs and some small tables. The room felt like a hastily converted breakroom but the force-field seemed solid enough, for all that Darcy had any sense of what a quality force-field looked like Jane had tried to create some small ones before SHIELD had entered their lives. The force-fields worked to a degree but they’d always been sort of misty looking, like they weren’t quite there. She and Jane had even managed to get things in and out of the force-field a few times. This force-field looked reassuringly solid and was a shade of black so flat it nearly sucked color out of the room. Jane’s baby force-fields had been gray at best.

Dan looked between them and finally just addressed Darcy, "Every part of this room is heavily monitored and if we sense anything even slightly wrong, he will be subdued."

"Agent Pierson is being delicate. He means tranquilized or killed depending on the situation," Loki spoke without looking up.

"Good to know."

Dan ignored Loki and continued, "You can leave at any time, of course."

"What, no prison guards in here with us?"

"I can thwart a human, machinery and technology are far less likely to fall under my sway. Rest assured that this particular cage would do a satisfactory job of ending me."

Dan rolled his eyes, "He's correct."

"I think that's about as much as I want to know."

"Trust me, this has been tested with, well, we can't say who we tested it with, but it withstood and subdued several entities that even Loki would struggle to match on his best day."

"You wound me, Agent Pierson," Loki's voice floated over their conversation.

"If you need anything, just say the word, or just leave the room. Do you want me to stay in the room?"

"Can you take him down if he somehow breaks through every single line of defense?"

Dan looked at himself and then at Darcy. "Not a chance."

"Nah, just hang out and watch our little soap opera."

Dan squeezed her arm warmly and left. Darcy settled into one of the chairs and opened the takeaway box and cracked the chopsticks apart. Loki looked up from his book, "I have to say that I didn't truly believe you would come. I won't make the mistake of underestimating you again."

"Yeah, well, I didn’t come for the sparkling conversation and your esteem doesn't help me much but fine."

"Oh yes, and why did you come?"

"The comfy chairs were a big draw."

Loki snorted and returned to his book. "I'll find out. I'm patient."

He wrinkled his nose. "What is that ?"

"It's sushi. Raw fish wrapped in rice and seaweed with other stuff in there. It's kind of a fancy thing."

"That sounds atrocious. The only thing that should be eaten raw is fruit."

"From what I've heard, Asgard isn't really a culinary giant so forgive me if I keep eating my delicious lunch. Besides, aren't there cultures in your world were people eat things that aren't roasted or baked?"

"Vanaheim is rife with leaves and other plants that they consume raw. It's tolerable enough,” Loki shrugged.

Darcy shook her head, "In two thousand years, when they finally let you out of here, and if there are still fish and rice and seaweed, you'll try sushi and you'll cry because I was so right about how delicious it is."

"I'll visit your grave just to tell you that I tried it, it was terrible and I was right."

"That's why you don't have friends."

"You wound me.”

"Just, tell me about the series,” Darcy said, shoving an eel roll in her mouth.

"Mm, it's good. Overwrought but good. Nothing needs quite that many characters."

"I figured you'd like all the evil stuff in it."

"Of course you would,” Loki said airily.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"That you are limited by rather simplistic views of morality as though it is a constant rather than an arbitrary agreement made ages before our births that we would all behave in certain ways and be treated in certain ways."

"Are you like a libertarian or something?"

Loki’s lip curled. "Is that some human thing?"

"Nevermind. Just focus on the book. What did you like about it? I really liked Brienne. She's such a badass."

"She reminded me much of Sif, which soured it somewhat but I can admire her determination and her willingness to sacrifice for her beliefs. It’s a rare enough quality. I much prefer Tyrion or Sansa though, they see more clearly."

"You liked Sansa? I would not have figured."

"She began as naïve but she is learning and she may defeat them all in time. I also quite like Cersei, her commitment to her children is quite impressive in a world that would see them sold to the highest bidder. Arya is a delight, but I don’t know that she can survive. Vengefulness only carries you so far, as Jaqen is trying to instruct her. Oh, and Danaerys is dull. I could do without her ."

"She's got dragons!" Darcy yelled, covering her mouth just in time to keep a piece of seaweed from flying out.

"I think it rather loses its luster when you've actually dealt with dragons. They are not terribly interesting. Nothing like Smaug at all, I'm afraid."

Darcy swallowed quickly so she could get her reply in. "I grant you, Danaerys isn't maybe the most capable of leaders. But she's trying, which is more than everyone else!"

"Trying is almost never adequate and if it is, whatever you're trying can't have been very difficult."

"You're like a book of horrible advice. Thank god you don't have children."

"I have several children."

"What? No way,” Darcy breathed.

"A story for next time, perhaps. Do you have the next book in the series?"

Darcy tried to put aside the Loki-as-father thing for now. "You have to wait like the rest of us. That's the last one right now. George R. R. Martin is still working on the next one."

Loki sighed irritably "Fine. What do you have next?"

"I've got some sci-fi stuff you might like. Well, you'll probably hate it but someone thought you might like it."

"I hadn't realized other people were being consulted.”

"They aren't, it just sort of happens. You're a popular torture victim. A lot of people wanted to make sure you're unhappy."

"A worthy endeavor."

"You should probably be more upset about that."

"Interesting. No, I rather think I'm pleased.”

"You're certifiably insane."

"Undoubtedly,” Loki leaned back into his chair and stretched.

"I'll leave the books with Dan. I'm sure you can read them all before next Friday. I haven't read half of them, by the way, so you'll mostly be talking to yourself while I eat."

"And what have you been reading?"

Darcy groaned, "I'm trying to read non-fiction. It's a struggle. Something about the history of New York. It’s enormous. Up in the Old Motel? Something like that. ."

"Why are you reading it if you don't enjoy it? You can read any book there is.”

"Vegetables. Sometimes you read a book and it's because it's good for you, like vegetables."

"I'm curious about these 'vegetables'."

"I'll bring you the book when I'm done. Maybe you'll get something out of it."

"Perhaps so."

Darcy closed her takeaway box. "My sushi is gone so uh, it's been…fine. I'll see you on Friday."

Loki's eyebrows raised but he didn't say anything.

Darcy just rolled her eyes and headed for the door. Loki called after her, "Let me know when the next book comes out."

Loki obviously had no idea how publishing or authors worked so she just nodded and said, "Oh yeah, absolutely." In three years when that next Song of Ice and Fire book came out, he was going to be pissed.

Darcy closed the door behind her and it locked with several solid thunks in a row. Dan met her and walked out with her looking thoughtful.

"That went alright."

"It wasn’t terrible,” Darcy shrugged.

"We can cancel next Friday if you like?" Dan offered immediately.

"Are you kidding? I'm finally going to have taco Friday!"

"You are really dedicated enough to tacos to do this?"

"Oh Dan, these tacos are just the first step."

Dan furrowed his brow. "Well, I'm glad your first step is achievable. The end game isn't horrible, is it?"

"No, it's basically more tacos but on a regular basis."

Dan just nodded dumbly. Darcy did sort of want to tell him her master plan for career excellence, Loki reform, and general getting-those-sweet-dollars but expectations needed to be kept low. If this failed miserably, no harm. If SHIELD expected this to work and it failed she would look even more expendable to them. Jane would keep her on, obviously, but she had her own path to make and plowing straight through Loki's life was a handy shortcut.

She went back to work with a belly full of delicious food. Jane seemed totally unsurprised to see her unscathed and barely looked up when Darcy came in.

"So, you weren't even worried about me a little?”

Jane shook her head and mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn, "Not even a little."

Darcy crossed her arms. "Why's that?"

Jane swallowed. "He is not even close to being a match for you. I could handle him but you could destroy him if you were interested. It would take some time, but you could do it."

"That's really flattering. Sort of," Darcy preened a little.

"I think if you were ever interested in using your skills for evil, SHIELD would truly have their work cut out for them.”

"I'm going to keep that in mind in case this whole working for money gambit doesn't pay off."

"Can I be your henchwoman?"

"I wouldn't ever hire anyone else. Also, eat an apple or something, all of that popcorn is seriously not going to make you feel good."

Jane mumbled, "They only had green ones in the cafeteria," as she took another handful of popcorn.

"So it was a choice between green apples and popcorn. That was all there was in the whole cafeteria, I'm sure. Not a single other thing to eat."

Jane just huffed and pushed the popcorn aside.

"I have some springrolls left. Please eat them. Butter and corn are delicious but maybe not enough to run that brain of yours" Jane took them and promptly drowned them in dipping sauce.

"How was the meeting, anyway?" Jane asked between bites.

"Y'know, not horrible. Awkward but I've been at family dinners that were worse."

"Was the food worth it?"

"Definitely. I am so full of seaweed right now and I am damn happy."

"Good for you!" Jane fistbumped Darcy with her free hand.

"I got all the applications sorted, by the way. I assume you're doing interviews next week?"

"Yeah, do you want to do the interviews with me? You'll be working with them too and I don't want to pick one you'll hate."

"I'm good. Just follow your heart. And your funding, obviously”

~*~  
Darcy spent the rest of week trying to organize all of the interviews, of which there were ten. Jane was almost never in the office as a result so Darcy had to monitor and tend to a lot of the equipment herself but it also meant that she could play as much loud music as she liked. She spent all of Thursday listening to music as loud as possible, incurring a visit from one of Maria Hill's assistants who asked if she could please turn it down because apparently not everyone liked hearing The Smiths slide into the glorious howls of Freddie Mercury at a volume that rattled the doors.

On Friday, Darcy had to trudge into work through sleet and felt like the world’s angriest popsicle. Why could it never be warm in this godforsaken city? Although everyone had warned her that it would be agonizingly hot soon enough. She slumped into her desk and sat down to check emails and see if there were any meetings coming up for Jane. She also had to choose her lunch for the afternoon meeting with Loki. She had already committed to tacos emotionally but someone on the floor was eating a gyro so fragrant and salty that she couldn’t think of anything but Greek. The morning was burned up on and off of the phone with Jane as she asked for readouts from various pieces of equipment in between interviews and tried to come up with a proposal for a big grant to fund some research SHIELD hadn’t want to funnel money towards. It was only a few minutes before her meeting with Loki that she managed to get off the phone, grab her gyro and rush to meet Yasamin.

"So sorry, I was working with Jane and we both got caught up and then we had to finish the paragraph before we lost the thought completely so it just – I’m sorry."  
Yasamin waved the apology away. "It's not a problem."

It looked like it was definitely a problem from the amount of people involved in these meetings. Jeez, there were like nine people just waiting on her to get lunch. Next time maybe she’d bring some pastries or something. Everyone loved muffins, right? She went into the room and got settled into her chair. Loki was waiting with a sneer on his lips.

"You know, I could have been sleeping or writing or reading. You were very nearly late."

"I can go if you have better things to do.”

Loki curled his lip slightly. “You’re here now, we may as well continue.”

“That’s the spirit. How were the books?"

"Enjoyable enough. Some of them seemed overwrought but I did enjoy Dune well enough."

"Oh yeah? Which part of it? I’ve never read it, it seemed kind of daunting."

“You grow used to the world quickly. I just found the politics interesting, the downfall of an empire is always intriguing and how can I resist a story that warns us to be wary of the heroes we make?” Loki said with a thin smile.

“I can see why it was recommended. Tony thought it might be your thing.”

“Stark recommended it, did he?” Loki put a finger to his lips in thought.

“I got an email from his AI, and I’m guessing the JARVIS didn’t send it of his own accord, so yeah it was Tony. Do you think I should read it?

Loki considered the question before announcing, “Enjoyable but not revelatory.”

"Good to know. I'll bring you what I'm trying to read next. You can tell me if you think it's worth reading." Darcy spread more tzatziki on her gyro popped an olive in her mouth.

Loki nodded to her meal. "Whatever it is you're eating now is a considerably improvement over the fish."

"It's a gyro. Greek food. That probably doesn’t mean anything to you. Anyway, it’s guaranteed to be garlicky enough that no one comes near for days."

"Certainly it will keep the vampires at bay.”

"Suckers, they don't know what they're missing out on. Garlic is awesome,” Darcy took a large bite and licked meat juice off her fingers.

"Indeed, you haven't lived until you've had garlic roasted dragon." Loki said, reaching for a cup of whatever it was he drank.

"Fuck off,” Darcy managed to say around a full mouth.

"Ask Thor. It's delicious.”

Darcy struggled to swallow, then yelled to the various cameras in the room "Can I throw things through the barrier at this guy?"

There was a static crackle. "No, ma’am. It will not pass through the barrier."

Loki only smiled serenely. "As I was saying, it is delicious."

"Says the god of lies."

"Believe what you like." Loki gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Returning to the reality now. What did you think of the other books?"

"The Handmaid's Tale was exquisite. If she hasn’t done more writing than she certainly should."

Darcy snrked into her food "I think she's pretty confident in her abilities."

"Good. Ender's Game was acceptable enough. The Wind-Up Girl was ingenious."

"I meant to read that but it seemed kind of horrifying."

"It is, but therein lies the success. The horror of a world that’s essentially rotting away.”

“You come from like a deathless world where everything lasts forever, what on earth is the appeal to you?”

Loki ignored her and reached behind his chair to hold up an HP Lovecraft volume. “I don’t know why anyone would buy or read something so purposefully unending in its horror. I’m far from sanguine but even I found this excessive to the point of distraction. Which remind me, the plot relies on insanity and revolves around questions that the writing itself treats as unanswerable! Also, why all the slime?”

Darcy smiled sweetly “If it gave you nightmares, that’s all you had to say.”

Loki jerked up from perusing the book. “It certainly didn’t.”

“Sure it didn’t. I bet we can get you a night-light or something to keep the monsters away.”

“You find yourself terribly amusing, don’t you?” Loki glowered.

“Yup.”

“Next time, if you could be bothered, try to find something less absurd.”

~*~

Tuesday

“This is a panini, in case you’re wondering. It’s a smashed sandwich that has been toasted into deliciousness.”

Loki sat with his arms folded. “The only thing I was wondering is why you gave me the entire Nancy Drew series.”

“Because they didn’t have the Pony Club books. I thought you wanted something less absurd than Lovecraft?”

“I have nothing to say about them. If you would be so kind as to bring proper books, that would be appreciated,” Loki said through gritted teeth.

“Alright, alright, since you asked nicely I’ll bring you something good.”

~*~

Friday

Loki looked up impatiently when she came into the room. He looked like he hadn’t slept. His normally sleek hair was pulled into a messy braid and his tunic was creased oddly, like he hadn’t changed it for awhile.

“Jeez, are you sick? You look kind of rough.”

“No, of course not. I’ve been reading.”

Darcy’s eyes went wide. “I left you a whole bunch of books and you haven’t maybe, I dunno, slept?”

“I’m fine. I’ll sleep later,” Loki snorted dismissively.

“Oookay, well I guess the books were a hit then?”

“Exquisite.”

“I’m kind of wondering if that’s the sleep deprivation talking?”

Loki growled, “I’m fine!”

“Alright, alright, you’re “fine”! So which books got you to forego sleep?”

“I read through much of the Discworld series which was good. Very good. Vimes is perhaps the least naïve hero I’ve yet encountered, which is a rare delight. I only thought I’d start to read The Golden Compass before sleep but I read all of His Dark Materials in a single night. It felt strangely real. I nearly wondered if perhaps seiðr has its own kind of dust that causes it to work as it does. It would be nice to speak with Freya about it. Perhaps someday,” Loki’s unfocused gaze made it seem like he was talking entirely to himself, and for all Darcy knew, maybe he was.

“That’s a friend?”

“A relative, my aunt.” There was a long pause where Darcy waited for Loki to expand on that but he looked like he was lost in thought.

“They made a film out of the first book. It’s pretty good, but they never made the rest of them,” Darcy said.

Loki tilted his head thoughtfully. “They are beautiful enough as stories.”

Darcy spent the rest of her lunch having a pretty one-sided conversation with Loki who kept falling into his own thoughts or nearly drifting into sleep. The only thing more she found out was that he fond of Granny Weatherwax and that he wanted to see a polar bear now. Darcy left feeling good about it, Loki’s shell had cracked and he’d been if not vulnerable than at least less of a prickly asshole than usual, which had to be a good sign.

 

~*~  
Tuesday

Scratch that, he was exactly the same kind of smug murderous monster as always. She’d left him with a bunch of books that she thought might expand his horizons how that he’d opened up a little but apparently that wasn’t going to happen.

“Did you like Roots?”

“It was fine.”

“What do you mean it was fine?”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “I meant that it was fine. I fail to see why you would bother to subjugate one another based on anything as simple as skin color.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s just misguided. Not ability, not rank, not honor, not birthright, not power, you have left all of those and reduced it to skin color, as though that signifies anything,” Loki looked unimpressed.

Darcy leaned forward and studied him. “Do you not get how those other things you’ve mentioned are the same horrible bullshit as oppression based on race?”

“How is it possibly the same?” Loki scoffed.

Darcy pursed her lips. “I think maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong. You can’t even begin to understand any of the stuff you read until you understand a whole bunch of other stuff about us. You’re missing like three quarters of the info necessary. I don’t know why I thought you’d get any of this without some background.”

“What background do you imagine I require, then?”

“I don’t know! Like a primer in the history of every fucked up thing that’s happened on earth!? Fucking shit, man, where to even start. We need to work on your grasp of race, gender, and religion for starters. God, geopolitics alone is going to be a mindfuck, but I think you can probably figure this stuff out.”

“Your confidence is flattering. I’m certain I can ‘figure this stuff out’ quite easily.”

Darcy offered him a sarcastic thumbs up “Well, go you, I guess. I’ll be back on Friday and we can’t start to untangle the mess that is your brain.”

"You have quite a high tolerance for the time we spend together.”

Darcy gathered up her stuff. "There are worse things."

"You're being kind." Loki gave her an assessing look

"Yeah, a lot kinder than you deserve.”

~*~

Friday

It had taken a stack of nonfiction books, several autobiographies, and a great deal of frowning on Loki’s part before he was willing to concede anything.

Loki gave Darcy a longsuffering look. “Your kind are cruel to each other and use their power and influence to get what they want. How are you going to prove to me that my own power and influence is wrong?”

“Because you’re just as bad as everyone else then! Look, do you like the monsters in human history? Did you find what any of them did to be worth aspiring to?”

“Of course not!” Loki looked disgusted.

“And when you read The Souls of Black Folks or The Second Sex did you maybe see why it would suck to have people treat you as less than?”

“Yes of course! But surely if you are treated badly then it’s up to you to revenge yourself in whatever way you can.”

“They can’t! We can’t! It’s embedded in the whole system.”

“Then the system itself must be destroyed,” Loki said simply.

Darcy had been prepared for him to say a lot of things but maybe not propose actual anarchy. “You know, you don’t have to choose between totalitarian regimes with you at the head of them and anarchy. There’s probably something in between those two questionable systems of government.”

“Pity, anarchy sounded fun.”

“Wrong.”

“Oh yes? Then what’s the correct answer in your studied opinion?”

“If I knew the answer to that I’d be rich and there would be world peace.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “If you won’t provide an answer then I will find it myself. Bring me all the books on governance and politics that your realm can offer. The problem can’t be that challenging.”

Laughter exploded out of Darcy and grew even louder as Loki gave her a withering look. She struggled not to choke on her bagel and finally managed to get enough air to say “I’m sure you –“ before collapsing in giggles again.

Loki’s were flared and his lips were set in the tightest line Darcy had ever seen when she finally was able to say “I’m sure you’ll be the one to crack it. After all, how hard could solving one of the most pressing issues in human civilization possibly be?”

Loki didn’t respond, as though waiting for her to lose it again. Darcy just sighed, “Fine I’ll bring you the books. I have to go out of town anyway, so it’ll give you something to do.”

“Perfect,” Loki said irritably.

 

~*~

Darcy spent the weekend trying to go through the list of books she’d read in undergrad and then the books she’d used for research, the books her professors had written, the books every true political scientist needed to have read, even pop political science. She even dug up a few articles and printed them. If Loki could solve the problems of the world, more power to him.

She was looking forward to going home and seeing her family but there was something if not sad then at least not nice about the idea of leaving SHIELD behind at Christmas. For better or worse it was becoming a kind of home and wasn’t that a scary thought?

Darcy left the house long enough to make a library run and buy a few books on Thor’s card. She got Dan and Yasamin each a copy of Sorcerer to the Crown and a copy for herself. Dan liked fantasy, Yasamin liked historical fiction and humor, and Darcy had a soft spot for a book with a bunch of complicated political situations. It seemed like a good choice and they could talk about it after the holidays.

She was about to stand in line with every other harried holiday shopper but she saw a book in the sale bin and thought about Loki’s self-imposed quest to find the answer to everything politics was about. He was going to either go insane or find the answer, either way, he’d probably need something else to read. Darcy caved and added it to her pile.

~*~

Tuesday

Darcy had left an enormous pile of books with Yasamin on Monday for Loki to start going over. He looked like he’d already been giving them serious thought. He had a legal pad with him and was jotting things down periodically.

Loki looked up and gestured to the smoothie in her hand. “I notice you're only drinking something. Where is your usual spread of Midgardian food?"

"I’m flying home for the holidays and I get kind of queasy on airplanes. I don't want to be barfing up anything if I can help it,” Darcy grimaced. “I can’t stay long, I have to get to the airport and check in, but I got you something. I don't know if you celebrate Yule or Festivus or whatnot, but anyway, it's wrapped and everything,” Darcy held up the book.

Loki shifted in his chair. "I didn't get you anything, I didn't assume that we were friends who might exchange gifts."

"Look, it was on sale and you don't own any books so I bought it. Jeez, don't make this weird. I wasn't expecting anything from you anyway."

Loki's pride looked momentarily stung but he oiled past it. "And what did you get me?"

"A book." Darcy looked at him like he was being deliberately stupid

"I know a book. Which book?"

"I'm not ruining the surprise, open it yourself. Actually, guys, can I throw something at him this once?" Darcy asked to one of the cameras. A tiny sort of grate opened at the base of the force-field, Darcy slid the book under.

Loki picked it up cautiously, turning it over. "And you found paper with golden reindeer on it. Hilarious,” he muttered.

Darcy nodded in satisfaction.

Loki carefully popped the tape on it and slid the book out onto his lap. "William Shakespeare Complete Works" Loki said softly to himself, taking the book out of its protective cardboard case and looking it over.

"I don’t know if you’ll love it, but it's pretty great."

Loki traced the hardback binding and the embossed letters and looked up at Darcy. "Thank you. I'm sure it will be enjoyable."

Darcy smiled, "You don't have to read it all for next time or anything, it's just for you to read whenever you want."

Loki nodded thoughtfully but kept the book in his lap, sliding it carefully back into the protective cardboard case.

Darcy watched him for a minute before finally announcing, "Well, I have to run. TSA and all that jazz."

Loki stood as Darcy rose and got her stuff together. He met her eyes and said, in what Darcy thought was a surprisingly sincere tone, "Thank you."

Darcy blinked, "You're welcome. I’ll see you later.” She got through the maze of security, down to the first floor, and into a cab before doing a quiet fist pump. Loki was like 5% less of a dick than he was when they started this adventure. Director Fury himself was going to give her a gold plated parking space when this thing was over.


	6. Due Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is back home, some things change and some things stay the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would never have gotten here without the help/q&a/general joy/and brilliant betaing of RunRabbitRun or the support of PG.

The visit home was the tumult of every homecoming ever. The torrent of cousins, the drinking up and down Central avenue, the eating her weight in Frontier cinnamon rolls, finally going on that Breaking Bad tour that no one could ever shut the fuck up about. Watching Tia Frankie whip lard for hours and hours to make bizcochos, claiming to help make bizcochos but mostly just drinking brandy and eating cookie dough. Grandma Mari cornering her and asking about her job and her love life. Her mom cornering her and asking about her job and her love life. Her Tia Elena catching Darcy up on her love life (which was always a trip.) It was weird to be home and not really be able to talk about her work and even more than that, to feel like there wasn’t a whole lot to say about her life that wasn’t about her job or her visits to various “artisanal” toast shops. It’s not like she’d done anything big. She hadn’t even tried to get tickets to see Hamilton, for fuck’s sake. It wasn’t a relief to go back to the East coast, but it was sort of nice to know that she wouldn’t have to think too deeply about her career for a little while.

The flight back to New York was easy enough, getting back home to her apartment and the sink half full of dirty dishes, and dying plants on the window sill, less so. The drudgery of normal life was always a drag. 

Coming back to work was a little better, there was a weird feeling of almost being home and it was a distraction from all the laundry she had to do anyway. Monday was a waste, Jane was still on vacation so Darcy just turned up her music and managed to finally organize the storage closet full of stuff that Jane has insisted she needed. She put in a work order for some metal shelves because Jane’s personal reference library was starting to bend the wooden ones to a worrying degree. 

On Tuesday she got a message that Loki cancelled lunch. She didn't even know Loki had a choice, but apparently he did. Maybe he was sulking, whatever. Then he cancelled again on Friday. Jane was back by then and deep into the interview process. Darcy refused to get involved in that. Interviews sucked ass on the receiving end and they seemed entirely too abstract on the giving end. Darcy figured she could hold out on the free food and just eat some protein bars (which were surprisingly good, if not very filling) but when he cancelled the third time Darcy finally went to see Dan and Yasamin and ask what the fuck. Was he staging some sort of protest? He hadn't even asked for more books. 

"There isn’t a solution!" Loki yelled as soon as he noticed her. 

He'd left bits of paper everywhere and several parts of the walls had glimmering runes scratched into them. Loki looked harassed and a little vicious, like she'd tricked him somehow. 

"I've been working on this for weeks and nothing is satisfactory for even one quarter of your people." 

Darcy shrugged. "There are people who've been working their entire lives to figure out how to govern a single country effectively. It's not like you have to have an answer, unless you're giving some U.N. presentation I don't know about?"

Loki curled his lip. "Your flippancy is idiotic. This must be a solvable problem. How can there not be unity among your planet when you are all more or less identical in your beliefs about what is acceptable? You want order and you have strong taboos against murder and most kinds of theft. That should be enough." 

"You can't really found a world order on that."

"I AM AWARE!” Loki screeched, voice nearly cracking. This time his shout caused the lights to buzz at a frequency they probably shouldn’t have been capable of. He looked uncannily like a student during finals week, wild eyes and clothes crumpled. 

"Okay, look I'm going to take those books back and you can just think about it for awhile, yeah? Maybe read something a little lighter. You have plenty of human lifetimes to figure it out if you want to, just, get some rest or maybe stop obsessing,” Darcy suggested. 

Loki bristled, running a hand through his somewhat matted hair. “Why are you visiting? Are you being paid to watch my actions for some reason? Surely the ceaseless surveillance and imprisonment is enough.” 

Darcy snorted dismissively. “No, that would really be great if I was getting paid for this, but no, not really. I do have to go because still sort of on the clock and I have to fight with two different HR’s about who’s covering the PhD kids’ insurance while their working with us, which will be thrilling. So I’m going to go get started on that war and I’ll see you on Tuesday. You can tell me all about whatever this breakdown is about then.” 

Loki massaged his hand, cramps from all the scribbled notes everywhere maybe, and looked around begrudgingly at the disaster of his living quarters. “Go to your war of insurance. I will see you Tuesday.”

“You don’t know what insurance is, do you?” 

Loki’s nostrils flared wider than Darcy thought possible and he glared. She rolled her eyes and headed back to work. 

In the lab, Jane was having a loud discussion with someone on the other end of the phone while her two PhD candidates looked on awkwardly. One was a lanky dark skinned woman wearing a crisp oxford shirt and a bowtie, the other one was a youngish guy with curly dark hair wearing skinny jeans and a crumpled suit jacket. 

They looked at Darcy, unsure what to do, until she said “I’m her assistant and some might even say ‘handler’. How about we go down to the cafeteria for a coffee, maybe get your keycards and stuff? I’m not sure who she’s on the phone with but I don’t think it’ll be over in the next 30 minutes.” 

They followed her out to the elevator throwing occasional looks back at Jane who just gave them a thumbs up and looked apologetic. 

“I’m Darcy, by the way.” 

“I’m Nika and this is my cousin Julian.” 

Darcy did a double take. “How did you both end up doing astrophysics PhDs?” 

Nika looked fondly at Julian. “Julian and I spent a lot of time on the roof with a cheap telescope trying to find constellations and planning what we would do when we first met beings from other planets.” 

“Most people’s reaction when they meet Thor is babbling and blushing. He’s one of the few aliens I’ve met, but the reaction seems to be pretty consistent.” 

Darcy listened to their stories of rooftop adventures and going through their degree programs together. She found Julian was older than Nika but he easily deferred to Nika in almost everything except their research which they seemed to both agree and disagree on simultaneously. She took them to get their key cards and ID badges, got them coffees in the cafeteria and showed them the fancy conference rooms, stealing a handful of biscotti packets for the lab. 

Jane was off the phone when they got back but was looking at readings and immediately called them both over to play with the equipment and see if the readings matched projections or if they had to recalibrate everything. Again. 

Thor wandered in holding a lunch bag that had “Jane” written on it with a heart instead an ‘a’ 

Thor held it up proudly to Jane. “I thought you might be hungry. Clint insisted that I must put your name on it so it wouldn’t be taken.” 

Nika and Julian looked at him with wide eyes. Darcy grabbed her phone and took a quick picture. They’d probably want photographic evidence of their first alien encounter. 

~*~

Darcy was glad to see Loki had cleaned up for their meeting on Tuesday. His hair looked like he might have combed it and his tunic thing didn’t look like he’d slept in it for several days. 

“Nice to see you’re doing better.” 

“A wealth of romance novels is all it takes, it would seem,” Loki looked pointedly at her. 

“I couldn’t give you anything serious. You already looked like you’d lost it.” 

“I fail to see why focus and effort are so worrying.” 

Darcy folded her arms across her chest. “We tend to call that mania.” 

“It was a worthy thing to be maniacal about, at least.” 

“Any new thoughts on that front?”

“Thousands, and none of them adequate.” 

“Sometimes walking away from what you’re working on really helps. Just, don’t think about it for awhile.” 

“Well, I opened the book you gave me for a little reading and distraction from the problems of your kind.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm, it’s quite good.”

Darcy pulled a shocked face "Really? You think this Shakespeare guy has a future?"

"By your 'subtle' tone I'm assuming his work is quite famous." 

"It's a little famous, yeah." 

"Good, it should be." 

“On that note, I’ll bring some new stuff by tomorrow.”

“If you find it in your nature to be merciful, I’d request the rest of the Harry Potter series. Stark has taken to calling me ‘Snivellus’ and informed me that I’d understand if I read the rest.” 

“It’s not the worst nickname.” 

“Barton nearly missed a target he was laughing so hard. Forgive me if I doubt you.” 

“I guess you’ll read and decide for yourself. What’s the magic phrase?”

“I would greatly appreciate if you would be so kind as to bring me the Harry Potter series, please?”

“We’ll teach you manners yet.” Darcy gathered up the remains of her pho. 

“Are you doing this because Thor requested it of you?” 

Darcy snorted “Yeah, the books were a request but no, he didn’t ask me to come amuse you twice a week.” 

“Amuse is a strong word.” 

“Disagree! Amuse isn’t strong enough. I should have said 'to come dazzle you with my awesomeness'.”

“I see.” 

“No, you don’t, but you will. My awesomeness is a slow-acting poison. And with that warning, I’ll see you on Friday.” Darcy said, as the door opened to let her out.

Yasamin was at the desk with several manuals open and the low hum of classical music in the background when Darcy went to look in on her before going back to work. 

“I know I’m probably interrupting serious work here, but they gave me more sesame rice crackers than any one person could ever eat. You interested?” 

Yasamin looked up “Darcy! I was just going to email you. Crackers would be great. I haven’t made it down to the cafeteria yet. We’re updating reports so the mess is only going to grow.” 

Darcy handed her the bag of crackers, “Well, these should give you strength to fight back until you can get some real lunch.” 

“Thank you so much, you’re wonderful.” Yasamin immediately broke off a cracker shard and started eating.

“Awww, sweetalker. So what’s the email for? Anything wrong?” 

“Not as such, just a policy change. Loki’s privileges have been extended. He's allowed visitors in his own quarters now.”

“Ah, is this an invitation or just information?” Darcy asked. 

“Information, he’s aware of his privileges and he knew we’d inform you. He’d normally be quite vocal about the ‘indignity’ of SHIELD policy so I’m surprised you didn’t spend all of lunch hearing about it.” 

“Maybe he was afraid I’d visit and find his porn mags.”

“Ugh. I’m eating, Darcy.” 

Darcy looked thoughtful. “Yeah, it’s Asgard, they probably have like porn scrolls or porn etchings. I know they have advanced technology, but I still assume that everything in their life is basically Lord of the Rings with more guns and lasers.” 

“I’m not sure these crackers are worth the fact that I now have to consider how porn might be created and distributed in Middle Earth.” 

“You’re forgetting cultural differences. I’m sure the Elves, Dwarves, and Hobbits all have different tastes.” 

Yasamin pinched the bridge of her nose. 

Darcy held up her hands in surrender, “Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the important and valid literary mining I’m doing.” 

“Thank you. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, nothing needs to change about your arrangements with Loki, but we wanted you to know so that if he asked you would be prepared for the question.” 

“Ah, well I guess I’ll keep that in mind. Why do you think he didn’t push this, or even mention it?” 

“Who knows with Loki. It could be protecting his space, it could be his guess that you'll refuse, it could be that he just doesn't care. You could ask him about it, although as always your chance of a straight answer is unlikely.”

“Huh. Well I’ll leave you to think about what passes for porn in Rivendell and go back to the lab.”

Darcy ran out the door and skidded to the elevator, hearing a muffled “Dammit, Darcy!” as the doors shut. There was an email with multiple pornographic illustrations and photo manipulations featuring Lord of the Rings characters and in all caps “THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME.”

Darcy just replied, “Damn, Bilbo is way more well-endowed than I would have guessed. How did you even find those? Doesn’t SHIELD practice safe-search and porn-blocking etc.?”

The reply came: “In counter-intel all things have the potential to provide useful insight, even this.” It was a pencil sketch of Faramir with his face buried in Samwise Gamgee’s ass.

And because of course, Jane looked up at that moment to see the full screen image in all its Not Safe for Work glory. Jane bit down on a screech before hissing, “Jesus, Darcy! What are you doing!? What if someone walks in here?!” 

Darcy hurriedly X’d out of the window, “Sorry! It’s a joke! Joke might be the wrong word. Comeuppance, probably.” 

“Do I want to know what happened that a drawing like that is part of your comeuppance?” Jane said, checking to see if anyone in the hall had noticed.

“I was talking with Yasamin about Asgardian porn and it sort of turned into images of a Middle Earth fuckfest.” 

Jane stopped and a pensive look descended. “I hadn’t really considered what would be seen as pornographic or explicit in Asgard. It’s not the most permissive society in many way...” 

“It’s my job to ask the big questions,” Darcy leaned back, looking satisfied. 

“I’m not going to ask Thor about it, you know.” 

Darcy answered with a raspberry and a muttered, “Spoilsport.” 

 

~*~

“What did you think of Harry Potter?”

Loki looked uninterested, “Tell me what you think of them.” 

“Uh, I love them. They’re not the greatest books in the world, but the characters are amazing and the world is super interesting. Blast-ended skrewts, you know?

“Which characters do you like the most?”

“I really loved Ginny a lot. And obvious McGonagle is a complete badass.” 

“McGonagle is certainly formidable. She was much more reasonable than Dumbledore. He lacked a great deal of the wisdom I’d hope for in a leader.” 

“He did his best, I think.” 

“Yes, and how well did that work?” 

“Fine, who would you put in charge?” Darcy held open her hand gesturing for him to present his inadequate response.

“Snape. He was the only one with sufficient experience of Voldemort to truly make wise battle plans.” 

“Wow, that whole Snivvelus thing really caught your attention, I guess. Are you gunning for Steve Rogers’ job then?” 

Loki wrinkled his nose “I don’t think Snape and I have that much in common. He changed his mind out of love for a woman he lost. Romantic but impractical. And I have no desire to lead the Avengers even if I were in a position to do so.” 

“Ah, but that’s not the same as believing you’d be a better leader.” 

“I am certainly better equipped to read a battlefield and to assess what an enemy will do, but that’s far from being a good leader.” 

“I had you pegged as a thwarted leader type, not allowed to shine or something, but you’re not apparently.”

“I was.” Loki rebutted without emotion. Darcy waited for more details but instead Loki looked appraisingly at her, “Are you here to ‘befriend’ me? Perhaps SHIELD wishes for some sort of leverage and you are the unlucky sacrifice?” 

“If that was the plan, do you think I’m really working hard enough to endear myself to you?” 

Loki laughed as though enjoying a private joke, “There are worse ways to make friends.” 

“Speaking of ‘friends’, what’s this about you getting guest privileges? I’m surprised you didn’t tell me since I’m sort of your only…let’s go with ‘associate’” 

“Why would I invite you in? You're hardly a vampire. I assumed you would barge in when it suited you, with all of the customary grace and dignity you usually display,” Loki snorted. 

Darcy nodded, “I'm torn between being insulted and being flattered.” 

“Besides, the word ‘privilege’ hardly applies. If those were truly my quarters then I might be careful about who was permitted to enter but it is more or less a cell and I'm hardly hiding anything in it.” 

“In ordinary circumstances I would say something about secret plans for world domination.”

Loki’s eyes hardened, “But I never made that much of a secret.”

Darcy felt herself suddenly hot with anger. “Nope.”

“Jane has already slapped me for New York. I suppose when you're ready to do the same then you'll visit my cell.” 

“I wouldn't slap you…” Darcy muttered. They’d been getting along okay and then he had to be a shit about it.

Loki sneered, “I'm relying on SHIELD not allowing you to bring a gun or battle axe with you.” 

“We'll see.” 

“Are you plotting my death then?”

Darcy bit down on a ‘yes’ and grated out “I haven't decided yet.”

Loki stood and stretched, holding out his hands in gesture to the camera, signaling that they could return him to his cell. “Well, that will add a charming level of danger and fear to all of our encounters for me then, won't it?”

Darcy left without replying. She needed a drink and probably several years of therapy. Why the fuck had she ever let herself forget who he was for even a moment? No one else ever forgot what he was. Yasamin, Dan, Jane, Thor, all of them were aware of who and what he was and treated him accordingly but Darcy had been stupid enough to think for a second that maybe he wasn’t the dangerous psycho he obviously still was. 

She got back to her desk and found a formal letter waiting, embossed with the SHIELD logo. The letter itself even had a watermark. In her anger she only skimmed it but caught the words “The Detainment Review Board of the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division requests a statement from you regarding Loki Odinson. We are reviewing his case and your opinion would help us in this matter. Please submit your statement no later than Monday, February 29th.”


	7. Barcode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy receives yet another email from SHIELD and the adulthood panic sets in. Drinks are the cure for that, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would never keep this going if it wasn't for all of you and most especially for my beloved RunRabbitRun who is a writer extraordinaire and I highly recommend all of their work (How To Make New Friends is glorious: http://archiveofourown.org/works/307057). 
> 
> Holiday love to all of you <3

Darcy spent the weekend trying not to think about it. Any of it. Not even thinking about what 'it' was because that's how not thinking about it she was. Instead she broke out a hammer and nails and hung up an art print someone had been selling in the subway, it was cheesy but she'd had to get it. It was a take on Dogs Playing Poker but with the Avengers as dogs. Thor was a giant golden retriever with long shaggy fur and wearing his red cape, the hammer hanging from his chair. Tony Stark was a Dalmatian, the tag on his collar illustrated as a blue arc reactor. His nose was buried in a pile of poker chips and his butt was in the air. Natasha was a black Chow Chow, a red hourglass on her chest, guarding her cards closely and looking imperiously at the Dalmatian. Captain America was a scrappy terrier looking thing, sitting on his shield so he could comfortably rest both paws on the table and watch the action. Hawkeye was a mutt with a white patch over one eye and a slightly crooked tail, several cards were hidden under a paw beneath the table. Dr. Banner was an enormous Greyhound with soft eyes and a bright green collar, his cards were turned over and he had all aces and one jack but looked slightly embarrassed about it. 

Darcy took some time out to listen to podcasts and paint her nails. She only fucked up two of them. She finally cleaned her shower, which had been growing colors of mold that Darcy was fairly sure were either poisonous or were an alien lifeform. She watched some Netflix and flicked through Tindr and Her, flirting with a few people, mostly asking them for pictures of their pets. She even clicked through the Buzzfeed article that had collected every single appearance of a superhero on Sesame Street. Professor X encouraging Super Grover to be proud of his ability to help other people solve things was one of the sweetest things she'd ever seen and she might have cried a little bit. She realized there wasn't an appearance for Dr. Banner and felt kind of bad. It's not like you could invite the Hulk to Sesame Street but if anyone was good with kids, it was Dr. Banner. She sent the link to Dan and Yasamin and asked when they though Director Fury was going to make an appearance. Darcy even read most of The Magicians, which was great if you could stand a dipshit for a narrator. 

It was a good weekend and she came back to work on Monday ready to get shit done. She managed to get almost the entirety of the data from Jane's last research trip organized and charted, which was an all-day affair since Jane had the tendency to file in a haphazard way. By about 4pm it was sort of lonely in the lab though, just her and the internet radio. Jane had already packed and headed to the airport. She was flying to Iceland for the week on a conference. Julian and Nika were going with her and had been beyond excited, both of them bringing suitcases to work so they could leave as soon as they’d finished for the day.

Darcy was still trying to fight with the giant scanner and get it to automatically download documents into the correct folder instead of into a black hole, where they seemed to be ending up. Her computer made the email ding which was apparently standard on all SHIELD computers and was impossible to turn off unless you were a quadruple PhD in computer science apparently. 

She opened the email and was treated to a lengthy explanation of conflict of interest and how Darcy had to be brought into the fold in an official capacity to be allowed to continue working with Jane. She could not be employed under Jane's supervision alone because her loyalty had to be unquestionably SHIELD's if she was to be allowed around proprietary research and information. 

She and Jane had been waiting for something like this for a year and a half but it had never come so they'd assumed maybe SHIELD had just let it go. Apparently not. She was going to have to be fully vetted, interviewed, trained, and assigned an official clearance level. Confidentiality was non-negotiable and her identity would be partially wiped in order to preserve secrecy. She was offered the chance to test for a field operative position if she was interested, but was encouraged to wait until training was complete before making that decision. All questions could be referred to Maria Hill and a reply would be made within three days. 

Darcy could barely think. This job that had seemed so casual and aimless was trying to suck her in and she had to decide if she wanted to be part of it. It's not like there was some temping option so it was either join the Borg that was SHIELD or jump ship and hope for the best. What if she hated it? Was it like the mob? You have to stay for life or else you sleep with the fishes? That seemed unlikely, but they also had a secret prison that detained people indefinitely without trial so maybe laws weren't part of SHIELD's whole deal. Government oversight was kind of a love affair for Darcy, a natural outcome of political science, and the secret government agency thing had always rankled, but she'd been able to ignore it because she was Jane's ace in the hole and not SHIELD's lackey. 

Fuck, if she left, what the hell would she do? Go back to Albuquerque? Try to get a job at Self-Serve and teach people about how to properly use anal toys and the importance of lube? Go teach at Santa Fe Community College and do some candle-making? Go to grad school and move to DC? Move to Mexico and just live on the beach hoping no one could find her to collect her student loan debt? Staying in New York was possible, but what job would pay enough to handle rent, food, and healthcare, let alone stuff like transportation or phone bills. The path of least resistance was obviously to just give in and join, but she wouldn't just be under Jane's protection anymore or even necessarily working with her on a permanent basis, they could pretty much do what they wanted with her, as they saw fit. If they tried to make her part of HR, she was going to burn the building to the ground. Trusting SHIELD not to fuck up her life seemed stupid, but the alternative was trusting herself not to fuck up her own life. 

Darcy didn't even shut down the computer, she just held the power button until it crashed out. She had to get the fuck out of there. She grabbed her stuff and rushed out. It felt like everyone was looking at her as she called Jane from the lobby while shrugging on her coat. 

"Hey, I know you're on the plane and probably tired as fuck, but if you can call me later, that would really help. I got THE email from SHIELD and I have to join or die, pretty much. I don't know what to do and I have to go drink Tequila Sunrises until I can stop hyperventilating. I love you, watch out for ice gnomes." 

She texted Dan and Yasamin to meet her at a bar two blocks from headquarters. It was cleanish and had that hipster industrial vibe, lots of exposed beams and wood, but everything was broken in and the booths had cracked leather, and the floor was a little sticky which was always a good sign. Darcy ordered a Tequila Sunrise and the bartender asked in a heavy Polish accent if she wanted Pomelo juice or Blood orange juice instead. 

Darcy blinked. "I'm not drinking for the vitamin C. Just whatever tastes good is fine." 

The bartender nodded sagely, curls bouncing. "I pour heavy, yeah?"

"Bless you," Darcy said, handing over her debit card, "Just set up a tab, please?" 

"For sure." 

Yasamin and Dan showed up and found her already done with her Tequila Sunrise. Dan looked like he'd just come from work, gray button-down and fitted pants with conspicuously clean limited edition Nikes. Yasamin had obviously changed somehow because Darcy was pretty sure that the low cut t-shirt, skin tight jeans, and beat-up motorcycle boots were not considered work attire. Yasamin grabbed her and Dan's drinks and headed for the table. Darcy noticed Yasamin's shirt had a mermaid leaning up out of the water and a girl on land leaning down to kiss her. Darcy realized she was staring when Yasamin ducked down to meet her eyes. 

"I know, it's a little too cute for my taste, but at het bars I really have to advertise that I'm not looking for a man." 

"What? You're not straight?! I thought I was the only queerio in the box!" 

Yasamin looked skeptically at her. "I've got a Xena calendar. That's usually enough to indicate." 

"What? Where? I could have been talking to you about girls this whole time!"

Dan looked hurt. "We could have been talking about girls!" A man with a picked out afro and bright green eyeshadow slid past them, Dan squeaked, reached for a coaster and scribbled something down before pressing the slightly damp coaster into the man's hands. The man grinned broadly, flashing a tongue piercing, before blowing a kiss and sticking the coaster in his bag. "Or guys," Dan added. 

"I feel like I'm seeing the world for the first time."

"That's the alcohol talking, I think. What's going on? Your text was pretty frantic." 

"I got an email from the higher ups. I have to join the collective."

Dan and Yasamin both looked confused. 

Darcy waved a slightly inebriated hand as if to erase her previous statement. "I have to get onboard with SHIELD. I can't just be Jane's assistant and on SHIELD's payroll. I have to either quit or get the whole training and identity scrub thing. I think they don't want to wonder whether I'm more loyal to Jane or them, they want me locked in. Which is fucking terrifying, obviously." 

Dan's eyes popped wide. "Well, crap." 

"Right? This was never intended to be forever but I'm guessing that you don't walk away from SHIELD lightly, yeah?" 

Yasamin grimaced. "It's done, but you walk away from all of it pretty much. There's no contact with the people in it. They'd still let you hang around Jane and Thor but if you're not towing the line, you're not allowed to come around or be involved in any of it. There's some career transition support, but it's minimal and even then, there's a lot of surveillance involved after the fact because you were party to privileged information. Most people become part of SHIELD because they went to the Academy and had always wanted to do government work. The rest are poached from other fields and courted specifically for their skillset. This is sort of uncharted territory." 

"Do you think they really want me?" 

Dan looked apologetic but said, “I think they like you a lot, but they really want Jane and you're part of the package. You would be an amazing asset to them, and they know it, but keeping you on their side is their bid to keep Jane. She gets a lot of offers from other places, I'm guessing?" 

"Yeah, we had to set up an email filter just to keep them from cluttering up the inbox." 

Dan put an arm around Darcy's shoulder. "If it helps, you would be an amazing part of SHIELD and they would be lucky to have someone with your intelligence and tenacity." 

"God, no big words, my brain can barely think. Thank you though. It means a lot." Darcy leaned her head against Dan's shoulder. "Can I have another drink? I set up a tab." 

"Of course," Yasamin said, giving Darcy's hand a squeeze.

~*~

After four drinks Darcy was stumbling a little and couldn't find her phone. It had to be in her bag somewhere but it was like her bag had become a portal to another dimension or something. She wanted to get Dan to call it for her, but he wasn't there. Where was she? Oh yeah, the bathroom. So Dan probably wouldn't be in there with her. She wandered out into the bar and looked for Dan but he wasn't anywhere that she could see and Yasamin was snuggled up against a curvy girl with a shaved head and whispering to her. No wait, she was nibbling on her ear. Darcy found her hat and scarf but couldn't find her jacket, but fuck it, how cold could it be? 

She wandered out of the bar and looked for a cab or the direction of the subway but kept getting distracted, especially because she was hungry. There was a burger truck selling huge burgers dripping with cheese and bacon fat, so Darcy got one and kept walking. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was going but ended up back at SHIELD and covered in grease. There were still a few people buzzing around and she had her card and lanyard so she let herself in and found the bathroom so she could wash off a little. The halls were so quiet at this time of night there was mostly just the hum of the lights. Darcy managed to get most of the grease off and then went to Floor Eight looking for Dan and Yasamin. She'd already opened the door to their space when she remembered that they had been at the bar with her and it was after ten anyway so they definitely wouldn’t be at work. She still didn't know where her phone was and she hadn't heard back from Jane, she didn't want to walk back to the bar and she had the burning need to just talk to someone about the mess this day was and about how Darcy Lewis was being handed a permanent career but not one she was sure she wanted. She looked at the door that led to Loki's cell. Fuck it. 

Darcy knocked on it for several minutes before someone opened it. The guard looked a little surprised to see her but led her through. She knew she probably looked like a wreck but whatever, if SHIELD fired her for being a little drunk on their property then it would save her having to make a decision anyway. The grown-up part of her knew that was a cop-out but the tired and scared part of her wasn't going to think about it. The grown-up part of her was also super disappointed that she was being this irresponsible and childish which made it all even worse. If she was going to play at this whole grown-up thing, shouldn't she be delighted to be handed any career at all? Darcy felt her throat getting heavy with the need to cry and tried to distract herself by taking a huge bite of her burger. Tears gathered in her eyes anyway and she felt herself heave a quiet sob, muffled by the mouthful of food. 

The guard keyed her past security and turned to show her where she'd enter her passcode to get into Loki's cell. The guard ignored that Darcy had tears running down her face and was chewing at the same time. Darcy was assured that she could step through the barrier to get out, it should recognize her without frying her to death. She just nodded mutely and scrubbed her wrist against her eyes, trying to wipe away tears. The barrier shimmered and she stepped through, plunking down on the couch just in time to watch the barrier snap back into solidity. The lights were dimmed and the only sound was the hum of the fridge. The guard looked awkwardly at Darcy who gave him a desolate thumbs up and dropped her burger on the coffee table. She kicked off her shoes and curled into the couch, muffling her head into a pillow and shuddering with sobs. 

Why had she ever left home? What had she been thinking getting a degree in something like Political Science, she should just be happy she wasn't still having to bus tables just to keep the bills paid. She had friends that would have killed for a job offer like this, and she was here drunk and having a panic attack in her workplace like a sloppy fuck up. Sure, she could pack up and take her brains to grad school, but then she'd just be searching for a job like everyone else and trying to get published or find an internship that paid a goddamn wage. The ticket to security had fallen into her lap so why couldn't she just be grateful? 

A soft light from a hallway spilled into the room and Darcy grunted into the pillow, "GO AWAY!" 

Footsteps circled around and a voice above her said, "I can't, that is the nature of a prison cell." 

Darcy flipped over onto her back to glare up at Loki but she could barely see his face, her contacts didn't like all this crying and her eyes felt raw. Darcy brought her hand to her mouth to cover up a strangled sob. 

Loki dropped to his knees beside her, assessing her intently. “What is wrong? Are you harmed?” 

Darcy just gasped tearfully and shook her head. 

Loki shifted uncomfortably. "Would it help if I brought you some water?" 

Darcy shook her head, eyes squinched tight trying not to be aware of what a fucking disaster her life was. She felt a tentative hand resting on her shoulder and curled away from it into the couch. The hand recoiled and Loki huffed, "I'm not clear on what you would like me to do." 

Through a tight, aching throat, Darcy managed to croak "Lemme fucking cry. And get tissues. Snot's ev’rywhere..."

"I don't have tissues. I have tea towels and toilet paper." 

Darcy felt like she was going to just weep until she was a dried husk but her nose started to tickle and itch. Loki must have figured it out because just as she let loose a juicy sneeze, her nose was pressed into the soft shirt Loki was still wearing.

Darcy looked blearily up at him, snot string connecting her to his splattered shirt. "The fuck?" 

"It was the nearest thing to hand," Loki offered, pulling off the shirt and handing it to her. 

"Gross," Darcy muttered as she took the shirt. 

"It doesn't bother me," Loki left, probably to get another shirt, and came back clothed holding a large glass of water. 

Loki held the glass out to her and Darcy stared at him before feeling her face crumple with drunken sobs. "You're being so ni-nice to meee…" Darcy moaned. 

Loki put the glass down on the table and crossed his arms irritably. "You need to drink this and sleep." 

Darcy tried to look angry but her face was too busy funneling tears and snot everywhere to cooperate "Fucking looook at me. Why does SHIELD even want me? I just wanna be left alone. I just wanna be okay, OKAY?"

Loki's mouth opened and then shut before he sighed. "This is not the time of night for discussions about whatever it is that went so very wrong that it brought you here. I'm going to call the guards and have them escort you home." 

Darcy screamed "NO!" in an explosion of noise she probably hadn't managed since she was a toddler. Loki's eyebrows shot up at her sudden outburst. "I don' want to get stared at. They'll gimme those looks." On the plus side, the rage had burned away most of the sobbing for now. 

Loki gestured to the room at large, "There are already cameras in here, you can be seen even now." 

"At least I don't have to fuckin' see them looking at me. Lemme sober up. I'll leave you alone," Darcy looked away. She grabbed another mouthful of burger because she’d forgotten it was there and suddenly it seemed really important to not let it go to waste.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose while Darcy chewed noisily inbetween loud snuffles. "I'm not displeased you came, you know," Loki grunted, sitting down on the opposite arm of the couch.

Darcy scrubbed at her face, hissing at the tender rawness of her skin. "Hate crying,” Darcy swallowed a little painfully, “hurts like fuck."

Loki nodded, "Yes, it does." He pulled a book off the table and opened it. "Drink your water. Please." 

"Would you read to me?" Darcy asked, breath only catching a little now. 

Loki looked uncomfortable but answered, "I'm in the middle of the book already, but if you will drink the water, yes, I will read to you…"

Darcy took the glass of water and took a sip, looking expectantly at Loki who responded by reading:

‘“Then allow me to finish it. Categorically. I am happy for you to pursue all the adventure you like. Here. In this house. Under this roof. Drink until you can no longer stand. Curse like a dockside sailor. Set your embroidery aflame, for God’s sake. But, as your elder brother, the head of the family, and the earl,” he stressed the last words, “I forbid you from frequenting taverns, public houses, or other establishments of vice.” 

She snorted in amusement. “Establishments of vice? That’s a rather puritanical view of things, isn’t it? I assure you, I was quite safe.”  
“You were with Ralston!” he said, as though she were simpleminded.

“He was perfectly respectable,” she said, the words coming out before she remembered that the carriage ride home was anything but respectable.

“Imagine—my sister and the Marquess of Ralston together. And he turns out to be the respectable one,” Benedick said wryly, sending heat flaring on Callie’s cheeks, but not for the reason he thought. “No more taverns.”’

“You’re good at reading.” Darcy took several gulps of water and sighed, feeling her body start to go heavy, the soreness and effort of crying settling in.

“Thank you,” Loki replied tonelessly and took up the story again. Darcy tried to keep her eyes open and listen but she felt the listing glass of water taken from her hand and realized she was falling asleep. 

“More reading…?” She mumbled. There was a sigh and weight settled down on the other end of the couch and the soft drone of words resumed until Darcy couldn’t stay awake anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt is from page 137 of Sarah MacLean's novel Nine Rules to Break when Romancing a Rake. Highly recommended.


	8. Cross Reference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy tried to casually wipe a little drool from the corner of her mouth and waited for him to say anything but all she got was a muttered, "The bathroom is through that hall. I imagine you may need it this morning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do this because of you, you reading this right now, you are the motivation to persist and to come back even though it's a year later. I cherish you and the time you take to check this story out. Thank you so much!
> 
> I couldn't do with without the dedicated love and time of RunRabbitRun or M. Bond. Both of them have done incredible work helping me grow this story and get a sense of what happens next. Prepare for growth, change, bad decisions, and making out! 
> 
> <3 Lots of New Years love to all of you!

Darcy woke up feeling like her head was about to cave in and her stomach was being stabbed, why did she feel like she was wanted to die? Oh right, the drinking. It didn’t help that there were crusts in her eyes and that someone's feet were poking her shin and there was an unfamiliar blanket draped on her. Oh, right.

She wiped her eyes enough to open them and see Loki curled up at the other end of the couch, foot kicked out and toes digging into her leg. She shifted away from the poking toes and Loki jerked awake. His hair was partially adhered to his face from sleep sweat and he had the imprint of the pillow weave on his forehead. Darcy assumed however rough he looked, she probably looked significantly rougher. His eyes flicked to Darcy and he relaxed slightly, staring at her with unnervingly lucid eyes for what Darcy assumed was pretty early in the morning.

Darcy tried to casually wipe a little drool from the corner of her mouth and waited for him to say anything but all she got was a muttered, "The bathroom is through that hall. I imagine you may need it this morning."

She was about to kick him but, actually yeah, she did feel like she might throw up, or explode from the need to pee. Maybe both. The hangover headache set in just as she stood up and it felt like gravity was settling right down on top of her head. Loki stayed on the couch and steadied her with a hand. She clung to his hand until her vision cleared enough for her to shuffle to the bathroom. She chose to pee first and hope that vomiting could wait. It waited just long enough for her to wash her hands before she threw up in the pristine sink. She cleaned it up as best she could, but that acrid nose-burning smell was powerful. Oh god, it even smelled like alcohol. Darcy dry heaved twice and managed to breathe through it and lean against the wall until she could trust herself to be more than a few feet from a toilet or sink.

She splashed water on her face and scrubbed, trying to wash off the hangover. God, she needed to be at home and in bed. SHIELD was probably going to fire her this morning anyway, so at least then she'd have a real excuse to go home. She knew that was a horrifying thought, but every emotion in her had been used up already. The only things she felt now were sore, tired, and empty.

Darcy dried her face by burying it in a fluffy white towel and then she just stood there for a minute lost in random thoughts about how she would never drink this much again. She was trying to work up the will to move again when she heard voices in the sitting area. For a second she thought about hiding before remembering there was video evidence that she was here. She steeled herself and walked back out to see Loki sitting at a dining table, irritably drinking from a steaming mug, and ignoring Thor who was seated across the table, trying to ask a question.  
  
Thor noticed Darcy and stood up. "I wanted to see that you were alright and to bring you to your home."

"I threw up in the sink," Darcy blurted. "I cleaned it up though."

Loki shrugged but didn't offer up anything else. Thor's eyes softened in sympathy, "Jane apologizes for not being here, but I will make certain that you are cared for."

"Is SHIELD firing me?"

Thor looked baffled. "No, they are not. Why would they?"

"Getting drunk and going to hang out at work is usually," Darcy burped awkwardly, "considered pretty bad."

Loki looked at her in amusement. "If that was all that it took to earn the displeasure of SHIELD, they'd have no one left to work with."

Darcy nodded a little queasily. "I think I need to go."

Thor gathered her close and ushered her towards the barrier. Loki handed Darcy her purse, gently touching her hand, "Thank you for the interesting evening."

Darcy stared, blearily trying to make sense of his words and the careful touch of his hand, but his expression was shuttered. She didn't have time to consider it more as she was shuffled through the barrier with Thor’s arm snugged around her, holding her steady as he led her away.  
  


 *~*  
  


Loki stared after them. Damn Thor and his swanning in to collect her as though Loki hadn't had the situation well in hand. Thor was the last person she needed to see. He was the last person anyone in an unfortunate state needed to see. The comparison always went poorly even on the best of days but on bad ones it was unbearable. Still, it was done now, she was out of his cell and no longer his responsibility. No doubt his agents would have awkward questions that they wished to ask about the matter and wouldn't that be a lovely way to react to his care over their friend.  
  
Loki picked up the blanket that lay crumpled on the couch and began to fold it, taking it back to his room and laying it over the large bed. He straightened the covers absently. Cleaning was strangely soothing. He'd never cared for it but now, in this space, the control was pleasing. He went back into the sitting area, looking out momentarily at the barrier before throwing up a glamour to hide it from his own view.

"Bounded in a nutshell and a king of infinite space," he muttered. He should finish reading Hamlet. The plot was obvious, there would be no happy endings, but the plot was the least interesting part of any story. The choices of the characters were far more intriguing. Ophelia in particular, pulled this way and that, never allowed to make a choice of her own. He would rather have read the story of her rising up to show them all, but that seemed increasingly unlikely the further he’d read.

He tried to delve back into one of his books, jumping between _American Gods_ , _A Week to Be Wicked_ , and _House of the Spirits_. Each intrigued and then bored and then bored and intrigued for minutes at a time but he couldn't settle. He stood and repositioned the sofa cushions but found stuffed in between them was his shirt, encrusted with mucous and crushed into a still damp ball. Easily washed, thankfully. It smelled salty and sour with sweat, probably from Darcy sleeping on top of it. There was something else though. Loki pinched his mouth, looking at the camera pointedly, but he gave in and sniffed deeply. The scent on the shirt smelled…big? It smelled like vastness and space, crisp air rippling through deep valleys and over mountains. He swallowed hard, the bitter taste of meeting that smell here in a cage. The reminder of some broader world that was beyond his reach. Admittedly for reasons that he grasped such as innumerable crimes. Darcy had unwittingly brought him this gift and however much it stung, he wouldn’t throw it aside. He knew enough about imprisonment to take anything offered lest it prove useful later. He curled a tiny spell around the shirt, just enough to wall it off from light and air. The smell would stay put until he could tease it out.  
  


*~*  
  


Thor brought Darcy to a golf cart and then drove so slowly and carefully that it probably would have been faster to walk if she'd been able to walk without feeling the world throb underneath her. The ride ended at a car that he lifted her into where they rode in silence to her apartment, Thor texting Jane periodically then looking at Darcy in gentle concern. At her apartment, Darcy tried to get Thor to stay in the car and just trust her to get up there, but he refused.

"Jane has given me instructions, and even had she not, I would not just leave you,” Thor looked at Darcy implacably, then started up the stairs.

"Do I get to know what the instructions are?" Darcy said under her breath as she huffed up the stairs behind Thor.

Thor looked at his phone and read, "’Make sure that you shower, that you drink water, that you eat something bland, and that you go to sleep.’ I will go to the store while you shower."

Darcy stopped at the door to her apartment and stared at him, "You can't just ‘go to the store’. People will recognize you!"

Thor flipped up the hood of his jacket, put on a pair of heavy horn rim frames and pulled out an e-cigarette from somewhere. Something shifted in his face and he looked…obnoxious. The overall affect was the horrific spawn of a frat-guy banker-type and a hipster.

Darcy gaped, "Never mind."

"Natasha helped me."

Darcy fumbled the key in the lock, "Natasha? As in the Black Widow? She helped you to develop a disguise?"

"She said I needed help, and that I was ‘more conspicuous than Stark’."

"Ouch, harsh," Darcy winced as she leaned against the kitchen sink.

Thor smiled wryly, "Indeed."

Darcy looked around her apartment and scrunched her eyes in exhaustion. The place was kind of wrecked but it was mostly clutter, thank god, no stack of dirty dishes in the sink or anything. Thor set Darcy's purse down and set a hand softly on her shoulder, "Will you be alright while I'm gone?"

"I'll be very careful. No sudden movements and no heavy lifting. Don't worry," Darcy patted his hand.

Thor seemed cautiously willing to trust her and left promising to be back in less than an hour. Darcy shuffled over to the shower, started the water then flopped onto the bed and unlaced her boots, flailed out of her jeans and sweater grimacing at the slightly stale bar smell they had now before taking off her bra.

Goddamn that felt great. She scratched where her bra had been and sighed in relief. Heaven. Darcy stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed breathing in the steam, slowly starting to feel a little more human. She pulled her hair out of its braid and let the water weigh it down and untangle it, pulling her head back. It was so nice to just let the water do the work. She rested her forehead against the cold tiles and let herself sniffle a few tears of frustration with herself for doing something as stupid as breaking into Loki’s cell while trashed and making herself look like an idiot to Thor, to all of her friends, to SHIELD, probably even to Loki too.  
  


*~*  
  


Loki had made and ignored several cups of his preferred drink, which everyone insisted on calling tea despite it having no tea leaves in it. He was finally drinking one of them and clawing his way through more of _American Gods_ and consequently Mr. Wednesday's interminable grandstanding when the glamour broke to reveal Agent Pierson and Agent Masri. They both looked sheepish but Agent Masri looked well-fucked, which was novel. He filed that away for later.

They stepped through the barrier with slight nervousness and stood looking at him.

"Tradition dictates that I invite you to sit. So, if you're inclined to do so, the invitation has been made."

Agent Masri raised an eyebrow and strode over to the couch, sitting beside Loki. Agent Pierson settled on a chair opposite, shifting uncomfortably.

"And you have come here for a reason, I assume…," Loki put the book down and turned to Agent Masri.

She appraised him in that irritatingly insightful way she sometimes did. "We've come to apologize and to say thank you for looking after Darcy. It was not something you were expected or required to do."

Agent Pierson blurted, "She was meant to be our responsibility last night and we did a bad job of looking after her when she needed us so it means a lot that you made the choice you did."

"I trust you both found amusements to occupy yourselves with while Darcy was wandering drunkenly through the streets." Loki crossed his arms.

Pierson gave an exhausted glare. "Don't play that card. You've been a jerk to her so many times, one time of being decent doesn't give you any moral high ground."

Loki shrugged. "I looked after a distraught and intoxicated woman last night who you claim is your friend. What exactly where you doing?"

"Hey!" Agent Masri barked, "We came here to thank you and to discuss your upcoming review, but do not push me on this, Loki. We owe Darcy an apology but you are in zero position to tell anyone how to conduct friendships. I am tired, hungover, sore, and have no tolerance for your bullshit so if you want to say something, you damn well better say it right now and stop being a manipulative child." She leaned towards him, eyes narrowed.

The two of them looked at him expectantly, deep irritation written all over them. He wanted to punish them for their laxness, and in more general sense for being shocked that he could behave competently when called to. He wasn't a fool, after all.

"Do not act surprised at my ability to manage the care of one single human. Next time, look after her. It was obvious she needed you, and you failed her for something as common as sex and alcohol? Go do your apologizing to the person you wronged. We can discuss the case when you both reek less of the previous night," Loki picked up his books again and resumed the slog. He could see from the corner of his eye Agents Masri and Pierson having an intense silent conversation of facial expressions and small gestures.

Agent Pierson stood. "Thank you for - just thank you. We'll be back on Monday. Also, stick with the book, it gets better," he offered before stepping out the barrier.

"Well, it could hardly get worse," Loki deadpanned.

Agent Masri nodded at him in satisfaction and followed Agent Pierson out.  
  


*~*  
  


Darcy was wrapped up in blankets on the couch and Thor was laughing loudly through Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt as he refilled her glass with more ginger ale.

"You don't have to stay, you know. I've been hungover before."

Thor smiled, "There is no shame in having help just because it's nice to have it. But if you'd rather I left, I will go once you text Jane."

"No, it's just, if you've got something important to do…"

"I do. See that my friend is taken care of."

"Goddammit, you're going to make me cry."

"There is no shame in that either," Thor plopped down on the couch and offered her a box of tissues and put an arm around her.

"How do you deal with stuff when it doesn't go right?"

"Sparring can help, distraction, talking with Jane, but I have been working with Yasamin as well and I find it helps. She teaches meditation sometimes. Sif and Hogun practiced a similar art when they were in training and offered to teach me but I found it too difficult and refused to continue. Now though I find the difficulty of it to be helpful."

" _You_ meditate?"

"That is often the reaction."

"It's not something you think of big strong dudes doing, I guess."

"Perhaps they should."

"I love that about you. No macho bullshit."

Thor guffawed, "Even a few years ago you would have found me unbearable in my arrogance. I owe my father a great deal for banishing me to this planet. Even Loki in a way."

"He's weird."

"He is very weird. But let us think about you. Jane will arrive back in two days but what can we do to help?"

"Unless you have sway with SHIELD I don't think I can do anything except 'join or die.'"

"OH! That's from your history. I watched _John Adams_."

Darcy leaned her head on his shoulder. "You're amazing."

"As are you, Darcy. Anywhere would be fortunate to have you. I'm sure if you do not wish to work for SHIELD that something can be done. I know the Asgardians always need help facilitating their settlement in Oklahoma if you would like something different."

"I do like working for SHIELD. Sort of? I just don't want to be tied to it forever," Darcy yawned and stretched her toes. "Thanks for being such a good friend and hanging out, but I think I’m ready for sleep."  
  
"Of course. Do you wish me to stay? I can sleep on this couch." Thor bustled around, tidying and turning off the tv.

"I'll be okay, but thanks."

"Sleep well, my friend. Call if you need anything. You are important and I will not have you scared or alone," Thor gave her a delicate bear-hug, reminded her to drink more water and then left Darcy to get into bed.

Darcy locked the door behind him and crawled into bed, trying very carefully not to think about what work would be like tomorrow.  
  


*~*  
  


The covers were thrown back and weight shifted on the bed. Heaviness moved over her in the dim light from the street and illuminated the shape beside her as a person, a person who was delightfully naked. Darcy rolled over to wrap her arms around the person and noticed that she was naked too. That just made it easier to press tight against them, luxuriating in the feel of her skin against something solid. The person stroked a soothing hand up and down her back and she felt herself drift.

The light shifted and her legs pushed apart, knees bent and tucked over shoulders. She liked this bedmate, whoever they were. She felt a vague tickling brush her clit. Darcy sighed, stretching her arms down to brush the head buried between her thighs. Her hands met thick, long hair, green eyes looked up at her then fluttered shut as the person kept reverently licking and stroking at her. Darcy felt wetness dripping from her as a mouth closed around her clit and sucked softly, flicking and brushing lips over it. She gave a soft shuddering sigh and brought a hand to cup her breast, tugging on her nipple and rolling it between her fingers. The arc of sensation wriggled down her spine and flickered between her clit, her nipple, and somewhere in the middle of her chest. The wet laving became slower and more determined, each swipe of the tongue felt like it was pushing her higher and higher.

She wanted it to stop so she could feel that mouth on every part of her, so she could feel that same delicious pressure all over her, but she also never wanted this to stop. Sensation spiraled up and settled in her low belly, pulling tighter and tighter, she was aching with tension and whimpering when she felt that tongue slide against her in a sudden sharp pleasure that burst out and over her in a wave that left her gasping and shuddering. The pleasure lingered then softened before settling into a satisfied glow.  
Darcy looked down to see Loki slink up from between her thighs with a hazy-eyed grin and his face smeared with wetness. He licked his lips and pulled himself up beside her, brushing her hair aside and nuzzling her neck. She leaned her head against his and sighed. A metallic shine caught the dim light and Darcy saw the shape of something enclosing Loki’s cock. Weird, maybe he was into that stuff. She brushed fingers through his hair and tried to speak but no words would come, it was like her body was too heavy to move properly. He didn't speak either. His eyes gleamed in the half darkness, something strange and soft flickering at her from a long ways off. He lay his head down beside her, breath wafting against her neck as she tried to fall asleep again. Weirdly his breath felt cold. Then it started to tickle and itch. Darcy shifted, then tried to turn, but it didn't matter what she did, the itch of cold air remained. In a last ditch, she tried to roll over away from it and felt the world tilt. Her eyes opened and nearly slammed shut again as bright daylight stabbed at them. Darcy flailed, grasping the edge of her bedside table and jamming her forearm against the bed to push herself up. She was hanging part way off the bed, her overhead fan prickling her skin with cold, covers shoved halfway down.

  
She looked around in a panic. There was no sign of Loki anywhere, no sign that she'd been anything other than completely alone. She was still wearing the underwear and loose top she’d worn to bed. Everything in the room looked undisturbed. There was no open window or weird feeling of being watched. She sniffed the bed and her pillow, trying to see if there was any telltale smell of someone else on them. Her sense of smell wasn’t that great, but she gave it a try. She looked for any stray long black hair that Loki might have shed but there was nothing. Darcy sat up in bed and felt the damp of post-orgasm undies. Well, she’d at least had a good time last night then. Disturbingly, it had been while dreaming of Loki, and unless Loki was able to waltz in and out of dreams like it was nothing and he’d somehow kept that ability a secret from everyone else, she had come up with this dream all on her own.

**Author's Note:**

> Book requests for Loki's reading pleasure/torture are completely welcome and invited.


End file.
